This has been one awful day. is this any good.?

Question:"shattrered"

When I was just a child,
It always seemed to rain.
With every drop I would cry,
My innocence had died.

Once it seemed so clear,
No reason for any sin.
Dreams I Iost or set aside,
Along with all purity.

When this was a mystery,
Locked up so deep inside.
Love and hate, feel the same,
I can't seem to explain.

Forgetting all these awful years,
All my hellish memories.
I think that I still wonder,
Just what's become of me.

My tiny heart was wounded,
And left with all these sores.
Time it drifts away so fast,
Night and day are all the same.

What you really did to me,
Now reflections of my terror.
The never ending hunger,
The never ending flame.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "shattrered"

When I was just a child,
It always seemed to rain.
With every drop I would cry,
My innocence had died.

Once it seemed so clear,
No reason for any sin.
Dreams I Iost or set aside,
Along with all purity.

When this was a mystery,
Locked up so deep inside.
Love and hate, feel the same,
I can't seem to explain.

Forgetting all these awful years,
All my hellish memories.
I think that I still wonder,
Just what's become of me.

My tiny heart was wounded,
And left with all these sores.
Time it drifts away so fast,
Night and day are all the same.

What you really did to me,
Now reflections of my terror.
The never ending hunger,
The never ending flame.

There is a thin line between drama and melodrama, and another between insight and self-pity. You cross over the first occasionally and brush up against the latter.
You have an extra 'r' in the title.
"I can't seem to explain." is weak.

Remember, I don't bother with works that I think have no merit. Send me more.

oh it's very good i love it it totally speaks out about hurtful things that childern experince wonderful =)

Makes me want to cry. Just to think of what you went through. And what many children go through every day.

Good job Steve.

Yes, it has been an awful day. Mine's been awful too. Your poem is good and so powerful in imagery of what you must be dealing with right now. It's sad that these things happened to you as a child. I hope you feel better.

It is really strong and emotional, I really liked it. I'll look forward to more poems from you.

I liked it. Very interesting.

I like this one Master....it's sad...will you take a look at my poem if i post it up? It would mean a whole lot to me!
~Usagi
Grasshopper

The wounds become scars.