A rewrite of a terrible ordeal Written from a five year olds perspective, how is

Question:"no sanctuary"

I don't want to go today,
My stomache aches, don't want to play.
I don't want to go to school,
No going out, I know the rule.
Scared to death, I take the pill,
Just lie down, just play I'm ill.
I never want to go on back,
Alone with him behind the stacks.
The priest is always touching me,
I begging you, please can't you see.
He's hurting me, won't stay away,
Always wanting me to play.
I can't believe mom can't you see
I'm your son, just little Steve.
I can't go back it hurts too much,
I hate his breath, I hate his touch.
Please someone help I'm just a child,
No one noticed, I never smiled.

I wrote this as if I were a five year old child when this happened. I think it adds to the complete horror of this story.
Yes it is true.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "no sanctuary"

I don't want to go today,
My stomache aches, don't want to play.
I don't want to go to school,
No going out, I know the rule.
Scared to death, I take the pill,
Just lie down, just play I'm ill.
I never want to go on back,
Alone with him behind the stacks.
The priest is always touching me,
I begging you, please can't you see.
He's hurting me, won't stay away,
Always wanting me to play.
I can't believe mom can't you see
I'm your son, just little Steve.
I can't go back it hurts too much,
I hate his breath, I hate his touch.
Please someone help I'm just a child,
No one noticed, I never smiled.

I wrote this as if I were a five year old child when this happened. I think it adds to the complete horror of this story.
Yes it is true.

'No one noticed, I never smiled.' - Damn them to hell.

I think it's wonderful in it's raw power.. the rhyme is a bit off in the middle and if you tighten it up this poem would be rockstar!!!

the perspective definitely adds to it...from a poetic point of view.

It is really sad that this kind of thing happens so often in society now days. We read these things and cry and want the people responsible locked away but are we really any different than them. When we sit back and just let it happen and never try to stop it.

It's so sad. It has a powerful message behind it of a child in danger. I am so sorry this happened to you.

A poem of truth. Great written piece.

It works, has ryhthm and word flow, and is an easy read. Were I you, I would not change a single thing. Print it, it's a wrap.

Beautifully written, and I believe captures every feeling that a frightened 5 year old feels.

I love it alot you are really good at capturing the heart of a little child lol

of course he can capture the terrors the five year old had! he experienced it! how else would he have been able to write it?

This one flows beautifully. It expresses the horror so well precisely because it is understated and leaves something to the reader's imagination. The final verse is startling; it illustrates the insouciance of the adults--how children's attitudes remain unnoticed by the adults around them. One of your best!

Wow, I'm surprised! That happened to you?! Very sad poem. Hard to forget those terrible moments in a child's mind. Bravo for the poem.