Advise on my poem ?.. Cantankerous Old Man Network always welcome :)?

Question:It was you and me
a bag of chips
and a dirty magazine
How long has it been
My dear old friend ?
Caught up in our own lives
Can't seem to find the time
Try to call you on the line
Hello, How are you ?
Oh, I'm fine.
What about you ?
Is that all we can do?
What we've been reduced to?
Meaningless pleasantries
I mourn childhood memories
In my private melancholy
what can be done
for our stagnat pool
of mock complacency;
friendly civility ?
You mean so much to me
Am I holding on too tight ?
Is it even worth a fight ?
Or is it beter to pretend
then to lose you
in the end ?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It was you and me
a bag of chips
and a dirty magazine
How long has it been
My dear old friend ?
Caught up in our own lives
Can't seem to find the time
Try to call you on the line
Hello, How are you ?
Oh, I'm fine.
What about you ?
Is that all we can do?
What we've been reduced to?
Meaningless pleasantries
I mourn childhood memories
In my private melancholy
what can be done
for our stagnat pool
of mock complacency;
friendly civility ?
You mean so much to me
Am I holding on too tight ?
Is it even worth a fight ?
Or is it beter to pretend
then to lose you
in the end ?

The rhyme is effortless and effective, a monologue that just happens to rhyme. Nice. I really enjoyed the first bits, captured so many young friends so well. The poem got (just slightly) muddled a little bit in the middle during the melancholy bit, perhaps some more work there?

The last lines, for we all know the answer is to not pretend, but we all ask that question, were excellent.

{typo: beter should be better.}

Well, I'm not the Cantankerous Old Man Network, but I'll try. I really like this, because it's a question that we ask ourselves all the time about our friends and loved ones. Especially the three lines near the end "You mean so much to me/Am I holding on too tight?/Is it even worth a fight?" All parts of human indecision and human ridiculousness when it comes to relationships, friends or lovers. As for critique on the poem itself, you present a haphazard (might be intentional?) rhyme scheme and a rhythm that's off in a few places. Other than that, you're golden.

This is very good. I think we all wonder this same thing when we realize we have grown far apart from a really good friend. I know I did when I finally realized that my best friend from kindergarten was no longer my best friend. We had grown apart and joined new cliques and made new friends at school. For awhile I was upset but after awhile I learned the world still goes on and I made new friends.

This poem sounds like you're actually talking face to face with someone, so its not always going to have a hidden point, but you did hide one that not many people do: Meaningless pleasantries.

Three suggestions:
Space every other four or so lines.
Make more lines like Meaningless Pleasantries, and space them within the poem, so that people get used to you saying a phrase like that.
Lastly, drop a few question marks, as they can tire the eyes. Try to use commas to join interrogative sentences when you can.

eye will gif yew advise awn yewr pome just az lliterately az yew frazed yer qwestion

Not bad for a 2nd grader