Poetry: Cloudy.......what do you think?

Question:"Cloudy"

Through the extensive window where the sun seeks in
Inside I see the sun, but i feel the darkness
The cooled breeze flowing on my back
It feels calming, but i'm still not.
I'm never relaxed,
Never concentrated,
Never patient enough,
It feels calming, but I, I am still not,
I'm always aggravated
Always let people bother me,
Always feel sensless
Through the extensive windows where the sun seems to seek in,
Inside I see the sun, but I still feel the darkness.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "Cloudy"

Through the extensive window where the sun seeks in
Inside I see the sun, but i feel the darkness
The cooled breeze flowing on my back
It feels calming, but i'm still not.
I'm never relaxed,
Never concentrated,
Never patient enough,
It feels calming, but I, I am still not,
I'm always aggravated
Always let people bother me,
Always feel sensless
Through the extensive windows where the sun seems to seek in,
Inside I see the sun, but I still feel the darkness.

good.
i think you shouldnt say extensive window, i dont think that that is the word that you were trying to use. And i think u should say Inside i see the sun but feel the shadow. Also seeks shouldnt be used like that if u mean peeks in or creeps in or even reflected (through the ____ window where the sun is beaming in) take out inside UNLESS U MEAN INSIDE YOURSELF which is good, but u should state it somewhere in your poem.
For some reason i think u should say something other than the cooled breeze, and i don't think u should say in the end the word still. But it is good :)

It's pretty good.
I think you could change it around, make it flow better.
Nice work:)