Need help with my poem!!?

Question:So i made a poem/song. I need help with the rhyming part and give any comments. Thanks. it has to do with war.

Title: Time of War

The Start of War.
Everything is fresh.
No blood shed yet.
Goodbyes to the family.
Men and women off to protect the homeland.

Welcome to the Unknown Land.
People's thoughts on what the future's to bring.
The ground cold and hard.
Where many bodies are to lie.

(Chorus)
And on their mind,
A nagging thought
Of what has truly been lost

Planes hovering up above.
The gunshots all around.
No getting away.
Friends falling to the ground.
Tanks rumbling the ground below.

The weary journey home.
Bloody, wounded soldiers all around
Everyone's thoughts on their disheartened families.
What will become of their lives after the war?

(chorus)

Reunited with their families and friends
All there to greet them
Tears shed throughout the land
For a few seconds, all thoughts are forgotten,
But one

What has truly been lost?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: So i made a poem/song. I need help with the rhyming part and give any comments. Thanks. it has to do with war.

Title: Time of War

The Start of War.
Everything is fresh.
No blood shed yet.
Goodbyes to the family.
Men and women off to protect the homeland.

Welcome to the Unknown Land.
People's thoughts on what the future's to bring.
The ground cold and hard.
Where many bodies are to lie.

(Chorus)
And on their mind,
A nagging thought
Of what has truly been lost

Planes hovering up above.
The gunshots all around.
No getting away.
Friends falling to the ground.
Tanks rumbling the ground below.

The weary journey home.
Bloody, wounded soldiers all around
Everyone's thoughts on their disheartened families.
What will become of their lives after the war?

(chorus)

Reunited with their families and friends
All there to greet them
Tears shed throughout the land
For a few seconds, all thoughts are forgotten,
But one

What has truly been lost?

(OK I'll help u with the rhyming part but u really need a more interesting title)( P.S avoid the word bloody)

The Start of War.
Everything is fresh.
there is yet no torn flesh.
Goodbyes to the family.
hero's off to protect the homeland.

Welcome to the Unknown Land.
People's thoughts on what the future's to bring.
The ground cold and hard.
just like the soldiers heart.

(Chorus)
And on their mind,
A nagging thought
Of what has truly been lost

Planes hovering up above the ground.
The gunshots all around.
No getting away. no running free
Friends falling to the ground.
Tanks rumbling it's a such sad sound.

The weary journey home.
wounded soldiers are bound to or heart's.
Everyone thoughts on their hurting families.
What will become of their lives after the war?

(chorus)

Reunited with their families and friends
All there to greet them
Tears shed throughout the land
For a few seconds, all thoughts are forgotten,
But one

What has truly been lost?
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will soon be regained

everything put into this war is such a big cost

what has truly been lost?
people's trust in fighting
now all you see is
betraying and lying

I know it's dumb.......

I think its great the way it is!!

i think you should change the part about planes hovering, they don't hover. Other than that it seems okay like it is.