Is this a good poem?!?! easy ten pts?

Question:forgotten kisses
rembered words
of hate
you screamed
forgottens sorrys
rembered blows
that struck me
forgotten tenderness you once had
rembered agrresiveness
that now inhabits you
bruises and scars are
all that i remeber you by
now

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: forgotten kisses
rembered words
of hate
you screamed
forgottens sorrys
rembered blows
that struck me
forgotten tenderness you once had
rembered agrresiveness
that now inhabits you
bruises and scars are
all that i remeber you by
now

Poetry isn't about assuming the reader will know what forgotten kisses or remembered words you are talking about.

What I mean is that it's better for the poem to give short small pictures rather than vague connections.

Example: if you want the reader to think about a forgotten kiss, you could write something like

The doorway still holds onto our silhouette,
the warm nook we made everytime we kissed.

Instead of the reader trying to imagine all the details, you are guiding them directly where you want them too. A poem like the one you are writing is a 'haunted' poem, the ghost of a relationship. Its not nearly as scary to say a haunted house as it is 'the floorboards creaked as though each step broke open another memory, making the house groan from remembering.'

Or, you could try saying the same thing a different way, like

"All I remember/now/is the hate/coming from your mouth/and not the kisses/that came before."

Same sentiment, remembering the bad and not the good, but the reader now has a better grasp of how that feels, and thus can relate better.

Yes it is a good poem it is deep, and gosh i bet half of you are lieing to get the pts! Idc about the pts.

great
10 pts plz

Yes, that is such a good poem!

very good. and deep.

Yes, I really do. Lucky you for being so talented.

its awesome

Oh My God You Are Talent. The Meaning In That Poem Is Extraordinary. I Am Astonished. I Am 15 And I Write Poetry When I Am On The Beach At Sunset. You Are Talented. God Bless You

its deep, but nice!!! ten points!!!!!!!!

Yes its very good!

wow! thats pretty good allan poe writing it deserves to be published!

yes and spelled remember wrong

it is pretty good. If you wrote it from ur heart.

Very emotional! I enjoyed it. Did you create it by yourself? I'm a poem writer and I have the mind to know it it well written and very deep. It's amazing! It's similar to the one I made a month ago.

i like it, it makes me think of how you met a person and they were so gentle and kind and turned into an abusive person and you cant get past that. i think its a really good poem, i like it alot

to quote borat" very nice, very nice"

It's definitely good. There is something there. I mean, its not perfect yet. Its raw right now so I'm sure if you make some improvements it would sound great!

gee darl? wats goin on? whos bashn who? do ya bf bash u? or did ya dad bash ya mum? hmm lol u got problems??? how old r u?

It's an awesome poem. Very clear visualization. Very strong. I can feel it, like I was there. I also love the structure, it is unique. The ending is great. I love the contrast between the "remembers" and the "forgets." Many people go through that same exact thing.

yes, its a great poem to express your feeling but don't remember i best to forget only remember why you think a person will be the same as the ex.

it sounds like you hate someone

certainly does get the point across
(yeah I like it)

rembered agrresiveness
remembered aggressiveness

(edited)

forgotten kisses
remembered words
of hate
you screamed
forgotten sorrys
remembered blows
that struck me
forgotten tenderness you once had
remembered aggressivenesses
that now inhabits you
bruises and scars are
all that i remember you by
now

,,^._.^,,

It`s Good But U Can Try to make it rhyme a little. Work On Everything above forgotten tenderness and it`ll be REALLY Good. i`m Not Gunna Lie..Like Most People Did. U Can Give A Little More In This Poem.. Make It A Little Longer Put detail`s In It.

It's good but not discriptive.