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Question: I want to keep to myself!.!.!?
all my life i've been the loud mouth!. the person who's been in the middle of everything!. but now i've realized i think i'd be alot better off quiet and distant!. i don't really want to get close to anyone except for a select few, meaning my real friends!. i don't want to stand out or anything!. i want to be a mystery!. the person someone can't figure out!. what can i do to be like this!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's hard to be anti-social in a society that is designed for involvement!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sometimes we need a quiet period of our lives!. we get tired of being the nail that sticks out when all society does is try to pound us in!. having a quiet life is ok but i wouldn't go so far as distant!. you need to be in your life not just watching it pass by!. that isn't a full life which we all deserve!. so if you just want as much peace as you can get you need to do two things
1) cut out as much drama seekers that you can without cutting out people you love!.
2) simplify your life!. boil it down to just what you need or can't live without!. take out as many things that stress you out that you can again without cutting out the things you want or need!.
but all in all you need to find some peace with yourself too!. outer peace is not really possible but inner peace is and that allows even when you are plopped down in the most stressful situation that you can imagine to have that quiet and that peace that you are looking for!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

the hardest will the the first 21 days you will be ensuing such change!. after that it's gonna be a breeze!. do the exact opposite of what you do now -- keep at it for a month!.!.!. avoid chimming in into conversation or giving your own inputs which might be part of your natural personality!. when it becomes a habit, it will become your character!. center yourself!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

In solitude is bliss!.
Enquire within!. Discover yourself - your Self!.
Ask yourself 'who am I!?'!.

The free to download books here will help you in your quest!. These are universal and not specific to any religious persuasion!.
http://www!.sriramanamaharshi!.org/booksfo!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

So you're basically transitioning from the "loud mouth" to the quiet, mysterious person!? I usually hear a person wanting to this in vice versa!. I guess it depends on your age and the new transition or chapter you want to open or explore in your life!.
I don't have a specific answer for your request of a new personality but you can start off by getting informed on why most people are quiet and keep to themselves!. Now I know some of these people either are shy and reserved, some might have some sort of social anxiety (so they prefer to remain distant) or just not interested in others opinions since they might be egotistical themselves (meaning they "think" they know the real facts and others are just always uninformed)!. And others might appear mysterious since they might give out a feeling of suspiscion, but nothing to be worried about!.
But that's one place to start off, just educate yourself on reading why most people just want to keep to themselves because it coud be a personal thing, a disorder (you never know) or they were just BORN that way!.

Personally, I am a quiet person myself and the only reason I am that way is because I'm really not too social and I used to be really shy when I was young!. I also not try to worry myself or care about why Heidi and Spencer from the Hills broke up, etc!. But I do like to be informed about politics, culture, and philosophy!. My husband is a social butterfly though!. Go figure!. -=)
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My advise, as the quite one that you have to watch, is simply this, stop talking!. Start to listen instead of speaking, cram down the urge to voice your opinion when you have something to say and instead listen to what others are saying!. After a while you will find that while you may get the goss by talking you learn the truth by listening!.

But if you really wish to cut yourself off and change into the dark and mysterious type here's how to do it!.

Firstly, stop going out to public places with those that you do not like to be around!. Make an excuse of there is something else that you need to do and if you can't find one make one!. You may unfortunately have to change your group of friends, because your reputation that has been built up to now will follow you and your attempts will be for nought!.

Second, Stop talking and start listening!. Only enter a conversation when you have something important to say, otherwise let everyone else talk themselves out!. When you listen you will find out more about people then if you are the one that is talking!. People often slip into conversation innocuous pieces of their life and like a jig-saw puzzle you can use this to reconstruct their life, you can then use this when you are talking to seem very perceptive and mysterious!. You can also when you are in a conversation use questions to draw them out which will give you more information for later and also put the other person at ease, everyone likes to talk about themselves!.

Third, Drop vices!. If you drink, smoke, do drugs, eat to much, read the gossip rags, etc!., stop!. Dropping these habits will not only give you a lot of money left over at the end of the week but they will also improve your health!. When you do find yourself out with others offer to pay for expensive items, which you can now afford from dropping those habits, but people will wonder where you get your money since it seems that you always have pocket change!.

Fourth, adopt a code of Honour!. Mysterious people are fine for now and then but when someone is always mysterious and appears to be acting normally people tend to wonder what they are hiding which can make them uncomfortable or even afraid!. However with a code of honour (some like to call it moral character but I call it honour) people will see that you do not cheat, steal, lie or cause harm other people!. This will have a two prong effect of causing putting people at ease with your 'Mysterious Ways' but also make them intrigued by who you are making them want to get to know you better, which makes for a stronger and more resilient relationship!. It also (in my opinion at least) make you into a better person!.

Fifth, A little knowledge is a dangerous thing!. Truer words were never spoken, If you learn a little about a lot while you may not be a master of them all when you speak you will be able to speak with authority and since you do not give out very much information about yourself people will want to know exactly how you come across your wide field of knowledge and more about you!. You will also have the unique position of being able to become known for your knowledge, as the person to whom people can come for their question to be answered!. People are put at ease by knowing that there is someone around that can help them when they need it!. But one word of warning, do not offer the knowledge unless it is either asked for or is absolutely needed!. If you do give it when it is not wanted you will become known as a know-it-all, most definitely not what you want!.

Finally and most crucially, Be intentionally vague when it comes to answering questions about your own life where you can!. Give either only the information that is needed or just make something up, either take it form the life of someone you know or just off the top of your head!. Make sure that if you do make it up that your either remember or you can back it up when needed!. There are times when total honesty is needed, for example when you are bonding with someone but in general most people either want to find out what type of person you are or get the attention off themselves for a while!. So in these times if you give out as little information as possible you will give off the impression of mystery!.

It will not be easy, some of your current behaviours may need years to retrain!. And even then you will have to adapt what I have said to the situation and the people you come across!. Some people hate the Mysterious stranger while others can’t get enough!. also it may be useful to find a role model from which you can learn your craft, just like anything it is going to take time and patience but after a while you will get it!.

My final thought on the matter is this, are you sure that you want this!? The silent type is not usually a great type to be, there are those who will ignore you and other who will try to use you and relationships do not often work as people want a level of openness that may not be conducive to the silent type!. Just bWww@QuestionHome@Com