Question Home

Position:Home>Philosophy> Why are most people better at giving advise than taking care of their own situat


Question: Why are most people better at giving advise than taking care of their own situations!?
I know that that is true for me!. I can give good advise but am lost many times when it comes to dealing with problems and situations in my own life!. Why is it so much easier to see anothers answer to their problem than our own!? It makes life so very frustrating!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The answer may be directly related to objectivity!.

When exposed to the problems of others, we can often evaluate them and find the answers, because we are not directly concerned!.

To illustrate this, I have used this example:

A man walks into a room and talks to a woman that he feels friendship towards, who is sitting on a chair and crying!. She tells him that she feels bad because she has done something really bad (like cheating on her husband) and he tries to give her advice even though he does agree that her act is reprehensible!.

The situation changes if the woman he feels friendship towards, also happens to be his wife!. He will not see the problem in the same light and will probably not offer the same guiding support to the woman!.

I think that about says it!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ever heard the saying "You can't see the forest for the trees!?" Basically it's easier to dish out advice, because your to close to see what the situation is!. The trap is of course that it's easy to give advice, because you can walk away from it too!. The advice doesn't really affect you!. You tend to be more careful when it's your own problems, and so you muck everything up by weighing all your options and not just applying the common sense you were born with!. Think about it, how many times have you gotten advice from a friend, or given it, and the response is: "Yeah, I know!."

Oh, I also like the quote from School for Scoundrels: "You can't help yourself, because yourself sucks!" :) Just kidding!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I can relate with you 100%!. I absolutely love talking to people about their problems, they always think I have been in their situation and know what to do!. Even though I do not know how to handle my own life at times!. I think it all comes from just caring for other people!. I really do want to help others and understand their situation!. I suppose ti all start with empathy!. We have the actual ability to place ourselves in their shoes and understand where they are coming from!. We have the benefit though of NOT being actually involved in the situation, like we are seeing it unfold on a screen, but we can act to it and give advice!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

when it's your problem, stress rears it's ugly head and blocks your clear
thinking!. It is always easier to see a solution to an others problem because
you have no concern with the out come!.

That said, I am not talking about the person with a controlling personality!.
A person that always knows better than everyone else and tries to
inflict their will on each situation!. Usually their own life is a shamble!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I completely understand this!.!.!.!.When somebody asks a question you seem to know or have seen it somewhere but I think we are naturally more concerned about ourselves(sadly) so we tend to read more into out own problems whereas we are merely suggesting something for somebody else!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Many people are like that, including myself!. Most of my friends come to me for advise and I give it to them with all the wisdom I have, but I find that It is harder to apply wisdom to myself than giving it to others!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I find it easier to give advice because my emotions aren't involved!. When I have a problem though, it is harder to see logic when my feelings are wrapped up in the situation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

because when you tell someone else what to do, you don't actually have to do it yourself!. plus, since you aren't the one with the problem, you are thinking more clearlyWww@QuestionHome@Com

My dad use to say that is why we have lawyers, to take care of all the things in life we're to lazy to solve ourselves!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Normally we are too close to our own problems to see the answers or sometimes to take advice that is kindly (or sometimes not so kindly) given to us!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Because when it is your situation you have to deal with your own emotions and biased observations while an outside party has an objective view of the situation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Because different people have different strengths and weaknesses!. Some people may be good in your problem of area and vice virsa!. People needs good advice from other people!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

b/c when you look at things from outside, your judgment doesn't get influenced by emotions, and you can see things more clearly - and use your brain!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

James 1:24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

We know what we need to do to reach our goals but we are too lazy to actually do it ourselves!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

because your brain knows what the right thing to do is but it hardly ever wins the fight!.Www@QuestionHome@Com