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Position:Home>Philosophy> Do you ever feel like you have to be perfect in order to not be criticized and tQuestion: Do you ever feel like you have to be perfect in order to not be criticized and to actually feel competent !? Even if you have talent, more than most maybre and are already competent, do you always feel you have to be perfect !?!? better better better otherwise everyone is going to fall on you!?!?
Am I alone feeling this way about work !?Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Sure, I can relate!. It's the "other shoe's gonna drop" syndrome!. The deep down feeling we don't deserve to have it good, and sooner or later fate will deliver the blow to affirm what we always knew, I don't deserve to be happy or to enjoy life!. And I think you did stumble on a good insight about the criticism!. I do think perfectionism is born from being overly criticized as a child!. Molding behavior by criticizing usually results in the person's primary goal being not getting yelled at, rather that accomplishing the task at hand in the most useful and productive way, realizing what the true goal of the particular task is!. I wrote a statement once called the perfectionists creed and I'll share it with you: It's a far better thing not to try something than it is to try something that might fail!. One of the attitudes I got from criticizm was the idea that there's a perfect way to do things!. There's a set of rules somewhere and it's just obvious to some people and if you follow this set of rules nothing painful will happen to you!. Everytime something painful happens to you it's because you messed up somewhere!. In this belief was the idea that I had or could have total control over my life, which just wasn't true!. And it was scary to realize I wasn't in total control!. But the plus side was I didn't have to beat myself up everytime something painful happened to me!. Sometimes it wasn't my fault!.Www@QuestionHome@Com "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure!." "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody!." ~ Bill Cosby If you feel you have to be perfect you'll never have any freedom in your life and more importantly you'll never be happy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i felt that way at my last job!. they expected you to outdo yourself from the last year or month when you already exceeded yourself earlier!. i'm just glad i dont work there anymore!. i didnt realize how bad they treated ALL of thier employees!. always focusing on the negative of everyone!. i love my current job!Www@QuestionHome@Com I believe that we all feel the socially imposed pressure!. Yet there is no perfect and the yardstick of judgment will vary from person to person!. We all yearn for excellence so there is no perfect achievement in our minds, and we are our own harshest judges!.Www@QuestionHome@Com sometimes people DO expect you to be perfect, but you don′t have to feel bad about it because if they want you to be perfect, than shouldn′t THEY be perfect!?!? just live your life to the fullest and do the BEST that you can, k!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com i do that sometimes!. everything i do, i try to aim for PERFECTION, that way, if i do fail, i wouldn't fail as much as i DIDN't wanted to!.!. did that sound confusing!?Www@QuestionHome@Com i'd like to say the feeling goes away when you grow up!. But it doesn't!. I accept my imperfections but I strive to be the best!. I try not to worry about what others think, but I honestly do my best at whatever I do!.Www@QuestionHome@Com unfortunately we live a judeful society, so self scrutiny, can become so intense it leads to wanting perfection everyone is Perfect because we are all different, developing you and your style is key, no one like duplicatesWww@QuestionHome@Com No i get like that too!! but don't be obsessive about it!.!.!. You can only do your best and everything happens for a reason in life!! RELAX, TAKE IT EASY!. Good LuckWww@QuestionHome@Com No!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |