criticism please?

Question: Poetry!.!.!.advice/criticism please!?

Its a fools dream, love
You'll watch your wishes go up in smoke
It's a dream from which only hurt is provoked
Its a fools dream, love
Your heart will be reduced to nothing
Your mind will burn in an endless fire
Hell is something one would more quickly desire
Then the torture of a fools dream, love
Your pride will be bruised
and laughs will be few
As you go on the journey to recover
God bless those who discover
The heartbreak of a fools dream, loveWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Sweetheart, love is the most beautiful part of life!. You are not alone!. Everyone experiences heartache!. It is this portion of love that enriches your life to a higher understanding!. You must learn from this lesson in love and move on!. Know that the Lord has greater Love in store for your life!. It is not the end; only the beginning!. You will look back on this, and chuckle to yourself and say, "Oh, how foolish I was, back in the day!"
At 60 years old,I can say this so many times over! Smile and know the the Lord is smiling down on you! :) This too, shall pass!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very good and argumentive!. Only one thing isn't hell eternally torment!.!.!.burning in flame!? So, it would be better to live rather then spending the rest of eternity burning in fire and grim stone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your message was clear, the flow was pretty good, I guess you need a good title now!. How about :

Not a Smooth Journey
Fool's Journey
Journey of a Fool

Cheers!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is very good,it would make a Great song lyricsWww@QuestionHome@Com

thats a beautiful poem!. No advice needed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com