Judge this poem as if you were Simon Cowell.. Truthfully?

Question: Judge this poem as if you were Simon Cowell!.!. Truthfully!?

Love is a hi, Love is a hey
Love is a hug, a kiss or a wave
Love is a meal to start a new day
Love is what they took and what you gave

Love cant be bought, Love cant be stolen
Love is so precious as if it were golden
Love cant be anger, love cant be hate
Love is a change!.!.!.!.in your heart rate

Love could be yours, love could be mine
Love could be forever or for short time
Love could be right, love could be wrong
Love could be weak and it could be strong

Love is a L an O a V and an E
Love is what we got to be!.!.!.
A real good friend
the kind ill defend
This love just cant end!.

Its called loveWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I’m afraid that you’ll have to make do with Comrade Heathcliff’s judgement, as I just can’t get my jeans tight enough or my tongue cruel enough to be Simon Cowell!.

I think that it’s not bad for someone who is quite young and I’d encourage you to keep thinking and to keep writing!. Poetry, for me, is about the expression of emotion and thought through a careful use of language!. You’re poem does tick these boxes, but by objective standards its not great and I don’t think it would get published!.

I’ve read it three times now and it’s grown on me, it’s quite thoughtful, but it does fall into the cliché that a lot of love poetry falls into: it’s rather sickening and quite unoriginal!. The rhythm and metre are decent in the first three stanzas and the rhymes are better when said aloud than they are read!. The last stanza is feeble!.

I know you haven’t asked for advice on how to write poetry, so I’ll do no more than give a few links to my favourite love poems!.

John Donne, The Flea: http://www!.luminarium!.org/sevenlit/donne!.!.!.
John Donne, Love’s Growth: http://www!.luminarium!.org/sevenlit/donne!.!.!.
Andrew Marvell, To His Coy Mistress: http://www!.luminarium!.org/sevenlit/marve!.!.!.
Yeats, He Wishes For The Cloths of Heaven: http://www!.luminarium!.org/sevenlit/donne!.!.!.

I’ve always tried (and still do try) to learn from the masters!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hm alright dahhling!.!.!. what the bloody 'ell did u write there
lol its actually good!. BUT since u r asking for honesty, in my opinion the last line in the second verse just doesent sound right !.!.!. "love is change!.!. in ur heart rate" Then i would change the "or for short time" and then of course the last verse sounds like ur rapping!.!.!.!.

But again its realy good, this is just my picky harsh critisicm!. Keep up the good work :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

hmmm!.!.i think the point your trying to make is strong
but the lines are not very factual!.!.!.
i mean its nice and it has a nice rhythm and stuff
but it could be improved
its not the best
and im a poet
=]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Surprisingly, it's pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautifully worded and expressed!. Love is a many splendored thing, indeed!.

Loved to read it!.
DenisPWww@QuestionHome@Com

you forgot to mention the majority of marriages that end in disaster!. in other words, love is temporaryWww@QuestionHome@Com

Its pretty good!. I can't think of anything to criticize, if I were Simon I could probably, but I'm not that harsh!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like itWww@QuestionHome@Com

Started off well,the last verse spoiled it,so
sadly no, you are not through to the next round!.

you said answer like simon!Www@QuestionHome@Com

aww brings out the feminine side of me xDWww@QuestionHome@Com

um i was good but ya know im not feling it dawg!.!.!.
wait thats randy jacksonWww@QuestionHome@Com