Life question: Helping people always ends bad?

Question: Life question: Helping people always ends bad!?

I love helping people and helping my depressed friends and caring for otheres and I believe strongly in love, but it always ends up in hurt!. Every time I have tried to help others it has ended badly!. I don't know why, but it always makes bad thing happen, like life is trying to tell me I should stop what I am doing and it is wrong!. Many of my friends have had this same issue!.
Why is this!? Shouldn't love be encouraged!? I don't know what to think anymore!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Its about giving and receiving, if you take and don't give then it leaves you unbalanced same with giving and not receiving!. Who are you really spending your time on!? Are they worth it!? If its always ending in hurt then your probably spending your energy on the wrong people!. Just be there for people but let them take from you and soon you'll see the good karma of the world!.

I think!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You should expect and know that by helping others, it comes out of your personal expense!. (your time, effort, etc!.)

What makes up for your loss should be the personal satisfaction of the idea that you did someone good!. That means you shouldn't be expecting much from the people you help!. Only YOU will completely understand what makes You "happy"!.

With that in mind, give YOURSELF a pat in the back (that's a metaphorical term by the way) every time you do a good deed!. To be helping others, you should first learn to help yourself!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I sorta know what you mean!. I have a friend who I have tried helping with numerous things!.!.!.groceries, clothes, furniture!. But something would always happen to her and she would somehow lose everything (example: she got evicted from her apt!. and she didn't take the couches I gave her cuz she couldn't afford to put them in storage)!. She has a problem with drugs and I thought if I could help her get on her feet by providing things she needs to survive then she'll kick the habit!. Nope!.!.!.I was very wrong! I've learned the hard way, you can't help people who don't want to help themselves!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Keep doing what you're doing! Even if it ends badly, you know that you have done your part to help! There are not many people in the world (anymore) who want to help others!. I find this very encouraging! PLEASE DON'T STOP HELPING PEOPLE! You are doing something wonderful! Sometimes we do get hurt in the process, but that is just part of it!. Keep up the good work!

BTW, you can't "make" your way into heaven!. There's only one way to get there!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you offered help :end:
everything else after that you should not worry about!.!.!. your adding more pressure to yourself! I know it's nice to follow up but maybe that's what you should stop doing and just glow with the help you do!
and help even more people!
how they use that help isn't your issue!!! as hard as it is let it go and move on!
what you are doing is GREAT and NEVER let your own emotions get in the way of that! Your a natural!Www@QuestionHome@Com

sometimes depress people just need you to listen!. let them talk and give them a tap on the shoulder, if you can hug them, better!. give a tissue, offer her to dine in to a restaurant that she doesn't like!.!. check her expression, then laugh!. she will laugh with you!
about love!.!. there's nothing we can do about it, someone has to be hurt for the other to be happy!.!. don't stop loving someone!.!. there is someone meant for you!. even just for a little while, i know that person cared for you, things just didnt work out right!. think outside the box!.!. you deserve someone better that's why!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hello,
I to have stories, but people will remember the bad more then the good so it seams!.!.!.
Right now I have backed off helping so much because now I need help, you know!?
Everyone needs help now and again, it is to bad that the people we help are no where to be found when we need it, but this is ok we find other ways!.
Keep your chin up and never give up!.!.!.!.!.I think I am saying this to myself as well as to you!.

Wish you well!Www@QuestionHome@Com

You're getting too close to them!. You can help people and still hold your feelings apart!. If your help is rejected, then you're not hurt!.

Remember you have a life too and they can not menopolize it!. You have to take time out for you because you need help also and you are the best person to do that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think the major factor in any act of service is this: what is the motivation!?
secondarily, did they ask for help!?
Contributingly, they may not have been ready for help!.
What is love!? Does it look the same all the time!? Do you love your friends by enabling them or standing by them and up for them!? Soul/mind search!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Helping others is never bad!. Don't be discouraged to help others just because things ended up worse!. All I can say is it's better to try and help than to leave things the way they are!. Life is complicated and there's nothing we can do about it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

there's a time to help and time to butt out!. we can't always be there for everyone!. it's okay to lend a helping hand or listen to their problems but don't make their problems yours!. that will consume you and that's not healthy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you need to make sure they want help in the first place, some times they dont =(

Make sure people know you care about them and that is enough but put energy into things the people you trust to appreciate itWww@QuestionHome@Com

I so agree with you!.!.
Sumtimes i just want to give up :(

But that wud be the easiest thing to do

When life gives u lemons make lemonade!.!.!.:)

The easiest thing is not always the best! At least ur doing good and making ur way to heaven!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

just keep doing what you think is right really!.
you should always try to help but mabe youve been trying a little too hard!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don't get put down!. Maybe it's an omen that you should stop giving until you recieve a little more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The same happens to me!.

I believe that when we help people, although at the time they need the help and are thankful, later on when they are better they feel inferior to us as at the time they needed help they were in a worse state than us!. Their ego causes them to react in a negative and abusive way!. This happens with 2 out of every 3 people!.

Remember that most people aren't that evolved!. Their delicate ego's control their actions, which is one of destruction and abuse to others!.

A note about helping!. Why do you feel the need to help!? Is it because you want people to think you're a good person!? As again this is ego!. I'm not saying that it's bad to help people, but sometimes it's interesting to know our own motives!. If you help someone out of ego (I have done the same myself many times), then it will end with pain!.

Loving people hurts as they often abuse us!. Their is an inbuilt thing in most humans that they will bite the hand that feeds them!. I'm not religious but I often think of Jesus!. Most people don't like a "do gooder"!. Why not you ask!? E-G-O!

I have stopped helping people unless they ask for it, and even then in the back of my mind I will be expecting abuse, and if I don't get it, it's a bonus!.

also helping is sometimes letting someone help themselves, as they learn how to look after themselves!.

As for love!. Real love means opening our hearts fully!. The problem with this is that it leaves us too open if we aren't ready!. You have to have a very strong emotional inner core, if you are to love deeply!. This is why the ones we are closest to hurt us the most!. The more loving you are as a person the more painful life can be!. Look at Jesus (and I'm an atheist by the way)!. But the metaphor in the bible is clear!. You will get stick for helping and being loving, and you need to be an emotional kung-fu expert to survive ;) I get deeply wounded so many times on a regular basis, I have started avoiding abusers, but sadly this means avoiding the majority of people at this time in history!. Most people are unpleasant!. I am saving myself for the kind ones that walk amongst us, I will avoid the others but of course try and forgive their un-evolved state!.Www@QuestionHome@Com