Must we forgive to forget?

Question: Must we forgive to forget!?

Answer one or all!.!.!.!.

Do you think that forgiving someone for a wrong they have done to you is necessary in order for you to get past the pain they have caused!? Or do you think it is possible to forget but still not forgive!?

Do you think that by forgiving someone, you have in turn taken on the responsibility for what they have done!? I mean this in regards to dealing with the pain, understanding the situation, and accepting it as in the past!. Is this just a way of making life easier for the wrong-doer!?

Thanks :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think that, in general, people try to forgive too soon!. And we never forget anything, unless we get a blow to the head or develop Alzheimer's disease!.

"To err is human; to forgive, divine!." I don't know who said that but it's true!. We're not divine!!!!!

I don't think you have to forgive anyone if you can't forgive them!. Sometimes you just have to shove things behind you without really forgiving or forgetting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Even in the bible it says forgiveness is important for yourself!. Why walk around with all that bitterness in your heart!. You can forgive a murderer, however you do not have to be friends with them, you can simply move on with you life!. You by no means are taking on the responsibility, but you instead are letting go of your hurt and betrayal so that you yourself are not trapped in the past!. I believe you can forget and not forgive, but it will always be way back subconsciously, and continue to nag at you!. The wrong doer has to face God in the end, and as a Christian, I shouldn't have any desire to make someone's life difficult because I can!. If forgiveness to that person may lead to the possibility that would lead them to Christ, then it would be worth it!. I may always be careful and cautious with them, because although I may have forgiven, I won't have to trust them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Being placed in a situation that challenges one 'to be forgiving', is just like any other!.!.!.within such circumstances lies your opportunity use your free-will choice--"to be, or not to be" of the experience!.!.!.who and what will you be-come of them!.!.!.what wisdom(s) will you reap--it is their only purpose for occurring!.

And yes, YOU are personally responsible for the consequences of your choices, as well as the definition of Self that you reflect to others through them!.

Dwelling on the "wrong-doer" or need to find blame only takes away focus of the experience of the whole scenario--this limits your growth potential in process, so, not the wisest of choices to attach ones' Self to!.

All in all, best to forgive, reap of the experience, and move along, hopefully with positive gain to who & what you have become of it!.

Good Journey!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sort of; though you may still remember on a subconscious level depending on the degree of the trauma you endured!. It may consciously come back to you years later, (at this time you can reflect on how it has affected your life) and you can continue to burden the negative feelings, or you may be able to let go!. Only then might you "forget"!. Still you will be affected by it, but the negativity in your heart/soul will be lifted as a weight!. This is what they mean by forget; the not agonizing over the slight, not necessarily the memory loss!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I do not believe we ever forget a grievous injury!. We may get to a point where we don't obsess over it, but only think about it on ocassion!.

I think it's important to keep in mind what is best for you, not the wrong-doer!. Remember not forgiving is like taking poison and waitng for the wrong-doer to die!. The resentment only eats at you not them!.

Forgiving is selffish, but that's ok!. Do it to make yourself feel better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Forgive them, if you don't then they are still kind of controlling you and the situation is still alive!. You won't forget and that is probably good because then your guard will be up and watch to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again!.

True forgiveness feels good!. Say it out loud that you forgive that person and if you really mean it then it will be a freeing feeling!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you haven't really forgiven someone if you haven't forgotten the pain!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.you know what!.!.!.!.sometimes we just remember the person and the things he has done!.!.!.!.but the pain you don't remember at all!.!.!.!.
so forgive to be able to move on!.!.!.!.then all will be better!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think for your OWN peace of mind, you need to forgive, but I don't think it's possible to ever forget!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I dont think people ever forget!Www@QuestionHome@Com

No one can make us feel anything!.!.without us first, giving our consent!.!.!.
we have all got to walk our own roads!.!.!.experience is neither good nor bad!.!.it is just experience!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It really depends on what sort of wrong was committed!. We're all human and we all make mistakes!. Sometimes we can hurt someone without even knowing it!. In these cases, I think that it's necessary to forgive, but not forget!. You need to remember how many times the mistake has been repeated in order to guage whether they really wanted to make you feel better or just wanted to make themselves feel better by pushing the responsibility onto you!. For example, take an alcoholic!. s/he can drink once and make his/her family feel really upset about it!. However, if it was a one time thing!.!.!.a mistake, then maybe it's ok to take the responsiblity onto yourself and forgive!. However, if this is something that is constantly happening, then it's time to refuse forgiveness!.!.!.at least until something changes!. Forgiveness and trust go hand in hand!. If you don't trust someone to take your forgiveness seriously, then you cant fogive or forget!.

And, yes I do think it's possible to forget but not forgive!. My mother basically left us for five years of my life!. She's back now and we never talk about it, but I have never forgiven her for it!. I think the same goes for many children that have been molested by a loved one!. They may force themselves to forget so that they don't create tension in the family or make anyone uncomfortable, but I'm sure they'll never forgive!. So, forgetting seems to be more of a burden than forgiveness, I guess!.Www@QuestionHome@Com