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Question: What are your thoughts on marriage!.!.!.!.!.!?
Is it necessary!.!.!.!.can i just give an example!.!.!.!.i had a baby in march, so did my partners cousin!.!.!.!.we went to the christening of this other baby recently and i had a nice time and it was a fairly cool day out!.!.!.but i dont feel any need to christen my baby!.!.!.!.god has more than welcomed my baby into this world and i dont need any1 elses 'rituals' !.!.!.!.it got me thinking about marriage!.!.!.!.if you really love someone!.!.!.!.and you live together and are making a life together isnt 'marriage' just someone elses 'rituals'!.!.!.!.would really like to read your thoughts on it xWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I used to think it was a big waste of time, money and stress, then I met my current partner!. All I can think about is being with him forever!. Ok slightly rose tinted specticals as I know life is not a bed of roses, however I would love to run off to the south of France with him and get 'married' in a garden at twilight, just me and him no guests, cake, speaches etc!.
I think marrage these days is such a waste of money etc and 'kids' are just doing it for the heck of it -
However I still love the thought of a lil rose garden at twilight with some candles :)
ps: Where is your profile pic from its beautiful :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
well, for the men is a way to make her happy but we would just be content by signing the piece of paper and saying I do!. The bigger commitment is to stay together and make it work!. You can get divorce at any time but it is not easy to work sometimes!.
also, if you really love/adore this person and he or she adores you as well, the question is not even an issue!. "Hell yeah, I do, lets sight the paper and go have some beers in the back porch or throw a big expensive party!. After all you can do your celebration however you want to!.
Note: marriage is a lot of work but also is a lot of fun if you get good at it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Marriage is not natural!. Sex is!. Man instituted marriage - whether by law or church - for sociological purposes, mainly if not exclusively!. On the personal level, the idea of ego - my wife, my house, my children- worked towards the success in the establishment of the institutuion!.
Years ago I came across an article somewhere about one primitive tribe whose lifestyle fits in perfectly with my ideal: everything is shared among the members of the tribe; no one owns anything, not even women and children!. Men work for the community, women take care of the children of the community, whoever the mother is!.
Some have brought love in!. This has nothing to do with marriage!. Quite the contrary - the idea of possessing someone,and thus of taking things for granted, will destroy first the love and then the relationship, however 'good' that relationship is made to look for others' eyes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is a nice thought to spend our life without a contract, Cause that gives freedom to depart when you don't get along!. What marriage has to do if both of you love each other , but marriage is the sign n stamp of insecurity towards each other!. But unless and until both of you don't understand each other in a very mature manner , till then you should not have a child, otherwise, in future if both of you don't go well with each other , because of you child may suffer in future!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a vow before God if you are christian!. If not, it does offer the security level of knowing that this person is willing to sign a document, forever bonding their name, their lives as man and wife!. A symbol of awe that someone would actually do that for you, sort of like a treasure to behold!.
But then, if you are truly partnered with a soul mate, with every indication of their heart and soul being bonded to you, it isn't necessary to sign for love, it is strictly where your heart of your relationship lies!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I do not have a traditional view of marriage!.
Marriage is a contract!. Long ago, centuries, the church and the government got involved with the ritual in an attempt to control people!.
The only thing between twp people that has any merit or importance is!.!.!.
The relationship!. Without it, you have nothing, well, you would have something that is worth less than nothing!.!.!.the contract!.
A genuine relationship demands respect each of the other, affection, courtesy and empathy!.
If you have these things the contract is just a piece of paper!. If you do not have them, the contract isn't worth the paper its written on!.
Maybe that's just me!. I got lucky!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
interesting comments by the others
Marriage is a commitment that you will stand by each other NO MATTER WHAT!. without this commitment it is too easy to walk away!. If I was not married to my wife I would have walked away when my kids were 6 & 4 what a travesty to my children that would have been!. Because of the commitment and promises I made we worked hard and got through the problems!. Living together without the legality of marriage gives neither party any reason to live up to the promises involved!. The legality and the financial hardship it causes when a legal divorce is on the horizon gives one a chance to pause and think can we make it work!?
Whether a religious "ritual" or a marriage by a justice of the peace I think that you esp with a baby would want the security of knowing that it is for keeps!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am a traditionalist, and am not willing to break the rules on this one!. Marriage offers security that a spoken vow does not!. also, it is a gesture of one of the ultimate commitments two people can make to their love and dedication to the relationship!.
So, I am for the institution of marriage - it shouldn't be teared down, and it has NOTHING to do with religion - it's a construct in itself!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's not necessary for people who fear commitment!. If either person in a relationship are not ready to commit solely to the other then do not marry or have any children!.The CHILDREN are the ones who lose in this situation!. Creating a child comes with great responsibility!. Some people don't even exhibit the most basic of nurturing skills!. Wild animals i!.e!. apes,dogs monkeys etc!.exhibit the basic nurturing of their offspring and there are human beings that act like animals except for one, the most important,they don't take care of their young the male leaves that task to the female!. animals act better than a lot of humansWww@QuestionHome@Com
I feel that marriage is really just a piece of paper !. Love is what you need to make it work whether its a common law wife/husband or a married one!.
Relationships have got to be really strong with honesty, trust and respect !. Nowadays you don't get any more legal security from being married, though when children are involved maybe it is better as long as you both believe in keeping the vows taken and take it seriously!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes but at the same time it's a celebration of your new life together! to let others around you that your doing this!
yes it is someone else's ritual EVERYTHING IS!
But the government gives some people breaks when they know they wasted tons of money on a wedding to announce their love!
Instead of using someone else idea's create your own!
sadly most things have been done 1-4 times at least already! so the fact of you coming up with something purely your own is just about impossible! But i wish you the best!
kudo's with the baby!Www@QuestionHome@Com
The strongest reason I have come across to date for getting married is that several years ago I was a member of a music group, one of the male members had been living with a lady for I forget how many years, both had been married before but decide not to this time!. To my point the lady died and her off spring (don't think I could call them kids as they were adults) evicted the man from the home and left him with nothing even thought they had both put into the house over the years!. I discovered when I looked into this that it wouldn't have been able to happen if they had been married!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I believe if God puts two people together this is what I believe as an act of God ,, but in order to have legal documentation the ritual was put into place for that very reason, to make it a legal matter!. like everything else the government has to be involved inWww@QuestionHome@Com
Sometimes I think the piece of paper comes in handy!.!. like if you have kids but I dunno!.!.!.
People say the first year of marriage is the hardest!. Why is that!? I mean nothing has changed in the actual relationship!.
Marriage is a bit strange really!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Waste of time and money, spend what you would have spent on a wedding on a nice holiday or a deposit on a house, its only a piece of paper at the end of the day!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its all about COMMITMENT between and man and a woman, not your so called rituals!. Its a formal means of commiting to a person you love and want to be with!. Otherwise all you have is a roomate situation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i am a non marry kinda guy, but!.!.!.!.!.just living together presents some probs, like taxes are more(both paying at single rate), there is the health insurance i can't cover someone at my job unless they r my spouse!. Life ins, property dispursion, just a lot less messy if ur married!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Basically it's not just any ordinary ritual!. It's a sacred commitment!. Well, that is if you are Christian!.
A simple wedding would do wherein you wouldn't have to spend so much money!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Marriage is a declaration of intentions, but out of 6 wedding 3 are with their origonal partners 1 has had a second marriage, 1 is on their own an the other is constantly upset with any commitment!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's GREAT for those who can pay for it with no problem at all, but other than that, I think that Marriage is just one huge a$$ expensive party that takes almost takes forever to pay off!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It will depend from which civilisation you are from!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Marriage is marriage!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I agree with the first poster!.
I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I love someone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
IF THE CAP FIT`S WEAR IT!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think these rituals r a waste of time & moneyWww@QuestionHome@Com
Marriage is different than a christening!. Marriage isn't just a “ritual!.” It’s a legal state of being!. While you may not feel the ritual is necessary, the legal aspects are quite important!. You get tax breaks, not a big deal unto itself, but you also have to consider social security death benefits (paid to the surviving spouse upon the other spouse’s death -- NOT paid to a “significant other”), health benefits (not usually available to a “significant other”), life insurance benefits (many policies disallow “significant others”), paternity and custody of any children (he father has to sign a paternity affidavit if the couple are not married whereas a child born in a marriage is legally assumed to be the husband’s child AND in the event of a “break up” custody and visitation are not always a given with an unmarried couple, they must be fought for and won legally whereas with a married couple, both are assumed to have joint custody until a court order states otherwise)!. also back to the social security benefits: if the father doesn't sign the paternity affidavit, the child is not "legally" his, so the child would have no social security benefits available to him or her upon the father's death or should he become disabled!. If the child is born into a legal marriage, these benefits would be automatic!.
I can see your points about other peoples’ rituals!.!.!.!.and I agree with the religious, level of commitment, and “ritual” aspect of what you’re saying!. However, where marriage is concerned, there is more to consider!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Disagree totally with the previous posts! Marriage is not about the ritual!. It's a public declaration of your love and comitment to one another and not just for everyone else's benefit!. The minister doesn't marry you-you marry each other!. It's standing up and promising to bewith that person no matter what, a conscious decision!.
If you just live together it's avoiding making that commitment!. Personally I'd hate it as it would say, 'I love you enough to enjoy the good times but I need a get out clause if the going gets tough!.' The ideal of the marriage is that it gives you the strength to get through good times and bad!. Yes this is only my opinion and whilst I'm sure many people live together happily and this doesn't affect them, I couldn't do it personally!. It's also true that many marriages break down after that commitment's been made!. In the end it all comes down to what you both want out of life and what will make the couple happy!. I think marriage makes it that bit harder to walk away-which can often be a good thing when trying to work through the difficult times!. A wedding can be as cheap/dear as you make it!. A marriage is the long journey bit that comes afterwards and lasts the rest of your lives!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
destruction of loveWww@QuestionHome@Com