Why is being happy so hard??

Question: Why is being happy so hard!?!?

Happiness does not come easily to me!.!.!.I've read all of those self-help books and they make living a happy life seem so difficult!.!.!.!.!.!.!.i see people smiling all the time and i wonder how they do it!.!.!.!.how do they get friends!?, how do they laugh!?, how do they be themselves!? I know I'm going to have to work hard to be happy, but I'm just wondering why being happy is so much work!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I know exactly what you mean!. I constantly wonder if it's just me, if my implacability is some sort of vice that I've developed!. Everyone seems to be caught up in useless trivialities that have no meaning!. I imagine the future and can't see the possibility of happiness and content!. I don't want a husband!. I don't want a suburban home with pretty lawn and a golden retriever!. I don't want kids out of fear that my matronly qualities will be found lacking!. But I've recently decided to embrace my discontent and channel it into something meaningful!. Maybe you can do the same!. Take your despondency and create something of merit, whether it be poetry, art, music, or even prose!. "You desire to know the art of living, my friend!? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering!." Love that quote!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wouldn't you agree that happiness is something we do!? This is indicated in you question by the word "being"!. But, whenever we attempt to do something without the proper understanding of how to do it, then isn't the case that things become more difficult!? An example may be a man trying to put a piece of furniture together but instead of reading the directions, and having no training in the craft of building furniture, he makes his goal that much harder to attain!. So, it seems that if we don't know how to be happy, then it will probably be the case that it will be hard to attain by virtue of the fact that we have no idea how to do what is that we are wanting to do (which is be happy), wouldn't you agree!? Now, you've indicated above that you don't know how to be happy, else you wouldn't be searching for the conditions to be happy in "self-help" books!.

Books to read: Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle and The New Testament!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I used to be like you!. I was always complaining, and I was always depressed and lonely!. Then after a period of long illness, I decided that I would thank God for whatever He has given me, shown me and done for me!. I realized that I needed to be grateful--grateful to God and to others!. Suddenly my life changed; I started counting myself as lucky!. And all kinds of opportunities opened up for me!. Problems for which I had no solutions became trivial!. I also learned to laugh at myself and in the process developed a sense of humor that allowed me to make many friends, and that brought me some more prosperity!. I learned that opportunities come when others open doors for you---but you have to be at as many doors as possible!. And when a door does open, don't forget to say 'thank you' to God and to the one who opens it for you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

What if each person was allotted the same amount of happy moments in their life!? The happy people would be the ones who noticed those moments and made the most of them!.
Being happy is hard because happiness isn't always obvious!. Homeless people, or people in Mexico, like that other guy said, are sometimes just as happy!.
Notice things!. Treasure a smile on a baby's face, a pretty noise, a helpful stranger!. Keep a journal if you want!. My mom used to make me write fifty things that I appreciated at the end of each school day!. It may seem like a lot, but if you look back on your day, you'll see that there's a million things to be thankful for that you never noticed before!.
Notice them!. Don't worry!.
also, don't be negative!. Some things are "bad" just because we say they are!. Is pain really a bad feeling!? You think it is, but that's really just because your body interprets it negatively and sets out to fix the area of pain!. Nothing's really bad in life!. It may seem crazy, but it's true!.
Be happy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you are looking for happiness in all the wrong places!. Happiness doesn't come from external source that is subject to gain and loss!. Happiness come from with in because you always have you!. No material possession goes with you!. If you can learn to be happy just by knowing it is a gift to be born a human and to have life, then you can be happy all the time with anything!. Ask any one who has had a near death experience!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The biggest thing I have ever found is not comparing what you have to others!. When you go to Mexico- you see people in small huts with dirt floors and limited food!. No electricity, etc!.!.!. and yet they seem just as happy as anyone!. They dont know they are poor!. Same thing with everything- think of how a king lived 1000 years ago- a big house, but no electricty, running water, etc!.!.!. I would bet he would give it all up to live in a tiny house with all we have!.
Learn to be happy with what you have and people will flock to you because they will see you as one who is happy- just like you want to be around others who are happy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Bring happy is hard because you are wallowing in the valley of depression!.!.!.!.you put yourself there or there are unknown medical or social interaction reasons!. Or just psychological reasons!.!.!.!. why you fell in the abyss!.
I am sure you laugh at least once a day!.!.!.!.next time you laugh ask yourself why!? Oh, and only pick the happy laughs not the sarcastic ones!.!.!. Talk to those people who laugh all the time, ask them why!.!.!.!.last, try counseling it does work if you are true to yourself!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Everybody gets depressed, even the happy ones!.!.!.you are not alone!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

We tend to dwell on the negatives within our lives!. We all do it, even people who always seem happy!.
The people that are happy are the people who hope that the future will bring them only happy circumstances!.

Every person has a different view of happiness, and to what extent of happiness they have themselves!. Some people measure happiness in the friends they have; in the laughs they share with others!.
Myself, I find my happiness in the sheer thought of being alive!. It's a miracle, isn't it!? When I find myself breathing or witnessing another one of the worlds beauties, I am happy!.
But this could mean nothing to someone else!.
You shouldn't have to WORK to find happiness, happiness should be a natural cause in your life!. Don't judge your happiness on someone elses views of happiness, find your own definition for it!. And then you can dwell in that happiness yourself!.
This probably doesn't make much sense, but I always find it hard for me to explain my happiness with the world!.
I hope you can find yours :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

People in general focus on the negative!. Some more than others!. For example: If you're mom/best friend/ sister said to you, "that is an UGLY shirt you have on!. But your shoes are cute, those jeans make your butt look nice, and those are some really nice earrings!" The only thing you are likely to "pick up" on was the ugly shirt comment!.
Try to look for the positives and note when you are being negative!. And instead of criticizing others, even if it's only in your head, look for something positive!. The way we see others reflects how we see ourselves!. Once you start seeing the positives around you, you'll notice you feel better, lighter!.!.!.happier!. Happy people attract more friends!. Creating more happiness!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

like everything else thats worth having, you have to work hard to be happy or it would be meaningless!. making friends is not a hard thing to do, just talk to people, and if it turns out they are wan*ers dont bother with them, they will juat make you miserable!. go out from time to time, if its a nice night go out for a drive/walk/cycle, get some fresh air!. you may meet more people that way too!.

"eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you may die!."Www@QuestionHome@Com

because you are no good at it!. You are one of those people who live for problems and are constantly down on yourself!. I have a cousin just like you!. You need to grow up, take charge of something for once, and create your own happy memories instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself like some emo kid!. The truth hurts I know, but it is still the truth!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I!.!.!.!.its in the ii!.!.!.!.!.!.!. the III !.!.!. I does not exsist!!!

the "ego"!.!.!.!. keeps making it up!!

u and me are the same thing!!

dont think about yourself!.!.!.!.!.

in fact the more you do the less happy !.!.ness it will feel!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Because we live in a sad world!. If you are really concise of everything happening all around you things can get depressing!. So sometimes you have to forget about the bad and focus on the good to keep yourself going!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

we dwell on what we want, neglecting the consequences and the future!. also, dwelling and thinking negatively!. we can't relax and we are always on edge!. i say move to paris!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Because life is a tough cookie and one always need to work hard to achieve a certain level of satisfaction;-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

being happy is so hard because being depressed is so easyWww@QuestionHome@Com

If we were happy all the time we would not appreciate it when we get it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

all kind of work is hardWww@QuestionHome@Com

Eat a bar of chocolate!.!.!. its probably best to get a low fat chocolate bar!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Because you're real!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Usually, it isn't!. But, everyone is different!. For some, happiness is harder to attain!. Some enjoy having a family and that is their pleasure!. Some are happiest when they are learning!. Some are happiest when working!. But, not everyone has the ideal family, job, or equal access to education!.

It sounds to me you are having a hard time with who you naturally are!. I'm the same at times!. Used to be that way allt he time!. When you want friends or a partner, and that is what will make you happy, then that can certainly be depressing when they cannot be obtained!.

But, what you have to realize about people is that EVERYONE is putting on their own personal show in front of people!. The person you meet is not the person he or she really is!. Society dictates the norms of interaction!. And, we have to act accordingly!. Like, let's say you are just in LOVE with physics!. You read it, sleep it, and learn all you can about it!. You love talking about it!. But, you can't just go in a group of people and start talking about physics!. You talk physics with other physicists and physics buffs!. Not the average person!. Even physicists get tired of talking about physics!.

What you have to do is get out and experience the world!. Do things, and have stories to tell!. Have experiences which you can share with other people!. Plus, be smart!. Observe other people!. See how they act and talk!. Find out what interests them!. If you can connect with them on some things, then you may have friends!. If not, try another group of people until you can find peopel you can connect with!. If you notice, the people who have the most friends has the most diverse experience in life!. This tends to be the case!.

But, you also need to take pleasure in the smaller things in life!. I like mountain dew, candy, pizza, reading about philosophy, science, and religion, and many other little things that bring me up when I'm down!. Don't focus on your failures!. Learn from them and get over them!. Enjoy life and don't let mean people get you down!. Just be good to people always, and reverberate happiness!. People respond to this!. If you are down all the time, people around you will be down all the time, and won't want to be around you!. I'm not saying walk around like a happiness robot and keep a smile all the time!. This isn't healthy or desirable either!. But, greet people with a smile and kind gesture!.

I hope I helped some!. Take care and God bless :)Www@QuestionHome@Com