I just wrote this poem.. i dont think im done tho.. wht ya think..?

Question: I just wrote this poem!.!. i dont think im done tho!.!. wht ya think!.!.!?

*its just mixed up feelings!.!.you can help if ya want!.!.i was trying to write anger!.!.but for some reason!.!.the word love kept coming out!.!.yeah !.!.i was angry today!.!.hm!.!.have a nice day*hugs*

i dream of darkness!.
i think of death
im leaving this planet
for the best!.

i cant take this anymore
i just want to close my door
leaving everything and ignore
all this s**t thats being told

what lays beneath this soft skin
so much hatred, life filled with sin
what lays beneath this round brown eyes
many lies, wishing someone to die!.

death is the only way out
no one knows what this life is about

a smile from the outside
anger hidden inside

love so kind
love adored
its one feeling
that i cant hold
will let go
wont just grow!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think you write honestly!.!.!.that's rare, uninhibited and raw!.!.!.you're on a roll!.!.!.!.you start with your feeling at the moment and something else comes through tha inspires you to change your opinion!.!.!.LOVE!. Don't be so hard on yourself and quit listening to what others say!. It shows in your poem!.!.!.!.beating yourself up!.!.!.for what!? For being human and making mistakes!.!.!.we've all been there!. Feeling like you're in to deep can sometimes cause you!.!.!.the real you!.!.!.to rise to the surface!. Keep writing, it's therapeutic and it seems to be working for you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That's a beautiful poem but too morbid!. Here's an occasion where I can put these two opposite words together: Beautiful and morbid!.

Your poem can be easily classified within the Nihilistic School of poets!. But you must still be too young to be writing this kind of Literature!. Try to enjoy your life in a more brighter way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You want something!. You want love but writing these kind of poems won't help!. You want to hide from the people lie to you!. You think that death is the answer to all your problems but actually its not!. The answer is to deal with your problems!. You are turning away from everyone you know and running away from your problems!. Your poem has a Goth ring to it!. Fantasizing about death!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Work on the last stanza, it is a nice poem I have a freind who rights sorda sucidish poems like this as well, hope this is how you GET OUT these feeling and not just a cry for help!.

More on the last stanza, keep working specifically onthe last 2 lines, it will make or break this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Do you know that poems are better if you focus on creating an imagery instead of just jumping straight to the idea!?
Write about something you think is dark but don't just like write like "death is the only way out"!.
Just a suggestion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The only thing worse than the poem is the sentiment!.

LIVE, LIVE, LIVE
Or else you'll have nothing to discuss in the locker room afterwards!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really like it!. i write poems for the same reason as you!. keep writing and get those feelings out!. best of luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

this is the same poem that every other depressed teenager writes!. you're not original!. get over yourself please!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i don't get the last two parts!.

will let go
wont just grow

other than that its really great!.i cant write ****!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Take out the last two stanzas!. From A smile to just just grow!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You sound distrubed and your prowse didn't connect with me!. Don't try so hard next time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it's kind of demented!.!.
but not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really do not like to read but your poem was ok i liked it and think you are a pretty good poetWww@QuestionHome@Com