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Question: My sad story!.!.!. what do you think!? does it sound professional!?
She bursts into tears for she suddenly realizes that that one special boy will never love her!. she is confused as to why they can't have a chance!. the pain in her heart is growing!. she hates feeling this way but can't stop thinking about him!. she wishes they could've been closer to eachother before everything happened, she doesn't like to feel this way just because she barely knew him, so she ignores the pain and tells herself to get over him!. she can't figure things out, she wishes life was simpler, she wants someone to understand her!. she can't try any harder so she gives up, leaves it behind and never looks back like the end of a burning cigarette!. gone!. finished!. done!. over!. no more!. forever dissapeared!.
she feels like she'll never know what it is like!. she feels different, unwanted, like a person never to be loved!. ugh, love, that soggy, mushy word is no longer a part of her vocabulary for she feels she will never use it!. her life is like a dark, lonely cave waiting for a someone to come along and light a match to make everything clear, bright, and perfect!.she can't find the exact words to describe the pain!. she ends it all with a goodbye!. a farewell, to that person whom she has never met, that person who was supposed to come along and brighten her cave!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
is that about u!?! if it is awwww!. yeah great empathy going on! and u Can tell the character had a certain attitude and voice!. ACE! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds more like a poem!. Put some names in place of he/she,and continue!. It could really get interesting if you add on to it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lovely, just use caps etc and you're ready to show it off to someone!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was so beautiful I was inspired to rewrite it in similar style!.!.
The tears well in her eyes, and gently tumble upon her cheek!. Cradling her self she sways thinking of her love, lost to her!. It sears as a burning spear torn through her being!. Never again will she be held or loved!. Maddened with thoughts of him, memories of happier days, glimpses of him in passing as strangers one she longed and lived for!. The deep pain is unbearable, she sobs weeping huddled foetal like!.
Life, her days pass as the smoking of her cigarettes, each diffused butt tells a lengthy and forlorn tale!. Placed upon hungered lips, to last awhile and be cast aside!. As is she!. Love, love oh dear bitter tender sweet love!. She can bear no more and longs, simply for the painful pleasure of longing, yearning for something she cannot attain, eludes her, tears her apart within with malicious glee!.
Her trembling hand searches blindly for another cigarette, she lights it shivering, her hands shaking!. The reflected flame dancing in her teary reddened eyes!. Calmness takes her and she sighs, another day another guy, another cigarette!. She blows smoke into the darkened room, watching it billow through misty eyes!. Farewell my love, my darling heart, my soul!. So loved and yet an eternity away!. She crawl back into her cave and die a slow and tormented death!. The sun sets on another day!.
I loved to write stories as a girl, wanted to write a book, but just didnt!.!.!. the road to somewhere is paved with something !.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I bet you're 14 or 15! The writing seems good to me and stuff, but it just seems very ordinary!. It's cool if this is from experience or something, but it also seems like you're trying too hard!. If this is a story that you've just made up, I'd try making it more unique!. There are too many stories about boys and girls who are sooo in love and think that it is the end of the world when things are on the rocks!. Hope I helped and that no feelings were hurt!Www@QuestionHome@Com