The more you're involved in interpersonal relationships, the more you are th

Question: The more you're involved in interpersonal relationships, the more you are thrown back to yourself - Views!?

So exist the paradoxes in Life - how far would you agree with this statement!?

By stripping away all the superficial layers, how many of you have actually 'found oneself' by being with another !.!.!.and how many have done so by being alone, away from others!?

I know this is a rather subjective question based on the unique characteristics of each individual so i'd like to hear your views on this!.!.!.

thanks in advance for the inputWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I have a bumper sticker that says "Oh No! Not another learning experience!"

I should have worn that at my wedding!. lol!.!.

I think we marry with the thought that we will never have to be alone again, that we can love this person as he/she is, regardless of the circumstances, with the idealistic notion that this one person will "even us out" and be our confederate!.

Later, we are forced to face ourselves, our mistakes, our humanity, and made to alter our perspectives, to compromise, and learn to depend on this other!.

Then, there comes a time when we must break apart from this other and become once again independent!.

I think it's ironic that people want so badly to meet their soul mates when these are the very people to tear out hearts out, destroy us, and re-create us as autonomous creatures!. It's terribly painful!.

Cap Sun/Aqua Moon/ Pisces AscendantWww@QuestionHome@Com

I agree with Dee regarding the illusion of soulmates!.

I thought I had met mine, and am still in the process of verifying it, but to be honest, I had my soul literally torn out, stabbed, drowned and everything and still cannot forget him!.
And yet my view of a relationship exists only in the glossy pages of a kid's book of happily ever afters!.

I am very much a hermit by choice!. When I am involved in interpersonal relationships, I long to be by myself again!. And am happiest alone or with someone I can trust as completely as possible!.

Being ith my other half has taught me independence nothing else could ever teach, and that looking to someone else for security and self esteem is the gravest mistake you can make for love!. You centre of gravity shoul be yours and yours only!.

The excess energy and love should be used to nurture your relationship(s)Www@QuestionHome@Com

To find all aspects of ones self, you would have to interact with people!. But that is only a part of yourself!. It is a combination of introspection, and interacting with others!.

Personally, I also learn a lot from reflecting on how others behave in certain situations and while alone I'll think about what was morally right, and such!. But, someone has to have those direct relationships in order for them to be reflected on!. Though, this applies only when thinking about how you affect society!. Even so, interacting with other people could even be a hindrance in some situations!. It depends on who and how you are interacting with said person(s)!.

How much an interpersonal relationship effects your views depends on the person!. For me, I like to think I learned a lot more about myself without outside influence!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that one actually learns more about other people by being alone than one does about themselves!. In order to be alone, one needs to detach from others!. Once one is detached, one can observe with perspective!. Interesting insights on other people's behaviour come of this!. Not a lot of insight in regards to one's own behaviour, though, because the person in question has detached from the people in their environment, and is therefore not really reacting to them!. Merely observing them!.

Within relationships, the focus of the individual shifts!. One becomes engaged in the situation, rather than just an observer!. Less inclined to detach and observe, more inclined to experience and react!. Through engaging oneself in a relationship, the individual is becoming an active participant, and discovers things about themself!.

Which is not to say that solitude and self reflection can't happen as well, but if you never experience and engage yourself with others, there's really not a whole lot to reflect upon, is there!?

EDIT: in re!. dee's "soulmates" remark - agreed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Definitely!. In one sense, interpersonal relationships mirror us back in ways that are both negative (the stuff that needs to change) and positive (those aspects of ourselves that are beautiful)!. We get to know ourselves in relationship!.

Another way to interpret this statement would be that when we rely too much on interpersonal relationships we are forced to come back to ourselves, to rely on ourselves!.

It's a tough one--both the question and the subject (interpersonal relationships)!. But worth the struggle!. Both!.!.!.

Thanks for your question!. Food for thought!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

No one is perfect!. People try to be perfect, it usually takes something away in their life if they want to be perfect!. I know a woman (not me)that come across as very perfect her home,her life and does this with a big ego,The sad thing that she has got out of this is her arrogance which she hides to a certain time until someone does or says something wrong, then she forgets where she is!. I think she doesn't love her self very much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Emmm!.!.!. what can I say!?

I agree completely!. It's a given!.

It is only when you interact with another person that you get an objective view of the kind of person that you really are - by learning from *their* reactions!. You don't learn anything from your own reactions, you just stagnate, grind to a complete halt in personality developement!. The mirror doesn't show you your inner self; other people do!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that some people have the need to be around others!. To those people it would be a wise idea to "strip yourself" of others influences and find your inner self!. From experience I know that having others around doesn't heal you at the "core"!. You need time to self-reflect on the issue at hand!. And in order to do so you need that solitude!. Nobody knows you better than you!. Others can speculate but that is all!.
Hoped I've helped!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I was in long term relationship , more than 4 years!.!.!.so!.!.!.now I think I am still on the request to find my true self!.!.!.!.but certainly, after that failed relationship, I know I am not as I think I was and my emotions are not as simple as I think they were!.!.!.!.

Even until now , i still am not really sure as why my relationship failed!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

We meet yourselves through others!. This is the whole basis of the 1st house - 7th house polarity!.

On a personal level, I have learned more during my time away from others!. This shows in my chart!. My 1st and 2nd house are emphasized!. My relationship houses are all empty!. No air in my chart!. I am not "other" directed!. I seem to be making attempts to change that lately!. We will see!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yes!.
The more you are exposed to different people, the more you discover about yourself or reinforces!.!.!.hmmmm
sorry!.!.!.have to think about that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't understand this question, though it SOUNDS "deep!.!.!."
The idea of "finding yourself" sounds way too vague to grapple with!. Question needs more elaborationWww@QuestionHome@Com

yes i think you are talking right more interpersonal relationship more complications and you keep lose your privacy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think that's true cause you realize the truth about them (imperfection) and end knowing you need them and that's all!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com