Position:Home>Philosophy> What do you think of my poem?? I just wrote it.so if you have suggestions to mak
Question: What do you think of my poem!?!? I just wrote it!.so if you have suggestions to make it better!.!.please tell me!?
I want to help
But I know there isn’t much I can do
I feel so bad seeing you like this
At times like these, I ask myself why!?
Why must it be like this!?
Why must you be hurt!?
Why must you be sad!?
Why does it seem like the world, is against at times like this!?
I ask myself why
Why must I feel like nothing!?
Why must I feel like nothing can make it better or okay!?
Why must when everything is going good,
There is sudden change!.
All I can do is be there
But that doesn’t seem like enough
At times like these I ask myself why
I know someone is watching over us,
And wouldn’t let us harm us
But at times like this it seems like we are alone
And nothing can make it right!.
But remember somebody is always there, and loves us very much
And wouldn’t let anything happen to us, which he didn’t want to
As am crying one last time,
I ask myself way!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There are some typo's here and there, that are probably the result of hasty typing and not in the original!. That aside, (and I am not the kiss-up type, believe me) I found this to be an intriguing piece of writing!. It has passion and believability, It speaks of the hopelessness we all experience from time to time!. The overwhelming emotions that are brought to bear when facing the seeming unfairness of life!. However, it tumbles nicely into the ray of hope that is always shining into the lives of those who believe in a Higher Power!. The flicker of light that illuminates our darkest days, giving us strength to trudge on!.!.!.!.!.only to see the unavoidable process of tears and trial repeated once again!. Simple language, deep content!. I would leave it alone and preserve its originality!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Nicely done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You definitely have a poetic gift!. Keep on reading poetry and practice writing it!. As time goes on, you will get better and better at it!.
Harleigh Kyson Jr!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its goodd
it shows your emotion
mabye you should make on or two lines rhyme just for the heck of itWww@QuestionHome@Com