Before and After
At the start I wanted to die!. I thought death was my best choice!. What is the point of living if your just going to die anyways!. Once I embraced death!. But now life has me in its grasp!. Holding death close always keeps me moving!. Now I must go through life!. Wanting things I can't have!. Seeing things I don't want to see!.
Why should I live!?
When it came time for my choice a friend confronted me!. This friend is a follower of a God I look down on!. A god who I believe to hate me!. A God who hides from sight!. A God who uses us like slaves!. One who only appears through us!. And not in person!.
Why do you hide from us!?
Martha!. Dearest Martha!. You brought me into the light!. When I was hiding from it all along!. Why save a waste of life like myself!. This isn't saving me!. This is just prolonging my suffering!. Now just wasting more time here!. Why put me in more pain!? Why torture me!? Why do you make me suffer!? Life is worse than death!. Just more time wasting!. I want him but I can't have him!. Life is cruel to me!. He's on my mind constantly!. I'm begging you remove him from my mind!. This isn't worth it!.
Why are you doing this to me!?
Untouched!. Heartless!. Suffering!. Resurrection!. Save me from myself!. My heart is killing me!. Burn my soul from the inside!. Bring me down to my grave!. Show me no mercy!. Let my ashes burn for all eternity!. With a darkened sky!. Lightless day!. Darkness surround me everyday!. Light burns birght under my grave!. Commit me to hell!. Lay me to rest!. Show me true peace!. Will you release me!?
Will you show me true peace!?
Just Please Save Me!!!
Untouched by time I lay!. Under my grave I lay!. Unable to move!. Unable to breathe!. Waiting for a new age to arise!. This is my life after!. The story unwritten!. The time for saving has passed!. Untouched by time I lay!. Never to see the darkened skies!. Nor the light of day!. Never to know life again!.
The worst sin committed to end my life!.
Judgment has passed as I lay!. Eternally silenced is the way I lie!. Untouched by time I lay!. As I predicted!. No emotions remain!. Nothingness!.
Just nothingness!.
Awoken from my dream!. No longer lost!. But now found!. No need for my sword or shield!. I am not protected!. I'm somewhat happy!. Even though I'm alone!. Looking for true peace!. Peace has been found and lost at the same time!. And now I'm alone and lost for all eternity!.
Was this the wrong choice!?
I was looking for true peace!. Peace that can't be found in death!. But in life!. In all my searching I have found peace in its truest form!. The form of love!. Love found in my friends!. And in the hearts of my family!. But most of all in myself!. And now I have someone to share it with!.Living is no longer a regret!. But an opportunity!. Just like they say!.
One door closes and another door opens!.Www@QuestionHome@Com