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Position:Home>Philosophy> How can I have better friendships?Question: How can I have better friendships!? I used to push people away!. I don't have any friends right now!. I want to be able to have good friendships in my life!. I already examined why I pushed people away, and I even went to counseling!.
I'm going to start a new job pretty soon and I want to be able to build friendships with people!. I'm tired of a lonely life without friends!. Need any advice!. Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Be the type of person you would like as a friend!. There is a lot to that old saying that birds of a feather!.!.!. & we attract what we put out!. I think it is wonderful you are working on your issues!. Now, practice will make perfect!. You seem really nice, you can attract others easily but you have to make yourself available!. Go out after work with your peers, at work be approachable!. Do a little more than your share of the work, others will follow suit & enjoy seeing you walk in the door!. Try to be comfortable in your own skin, you really are ok & others will see this!. If uneasy, fake it till you make it!. If you act as if long enough you will find one day you are no longer acting!. If you are a friend & care for others, you will have caring friends in return!. Blessings!Www@QuestionHome@Com The best way to attract good friends is to be a considerate friend yourself! Be patient!. Attracting and keeping friends is a slow process of cultivation!. You can never have more than a few!. It would take too much time and effort to cultivate more than a small number of people as friends!. Everyone else that that you would know by name really are no more than friendly acquaintances!. Harleigh Kyson Jr!.Www@QuestionHome@Com you watch who you get close to!. and when someone does something you dont agree with speak up!. simple huh!? now answer mine http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com tell me who your friends are and,i will tell you who you are!.this is a completition,let's say for the first answer!.or!.!.!.!. be yourself!everyone has his shadow on this planet!.there are many people and many would like to be your friendsWww@QuestionHome@Com Never lend friends money, your car, your house or your spouse!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Be a good friend if you want good friends!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Be a quiet friend with really big ears!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good question!. I'm in the same boat as you!. I used to have more friends but I've let many of them go as a result of therapy!. My therapist told me that my life was my own, and I didn't owe anybody anything!. Words I took to heart!. So every relationship I didn't want in my life I let go!. And, I am more lonely now!. I have some friends but no one I would consider really close right now!. I'm in this position where I'm struggling with the reality of people and the reality of my need for them!. I used to divert all my positive feelings for people into porn or things or places!. I used to live in a world where I didn't care if people came or went!. This was a false world however!. I now realize that 80% of my joy or pain in life comes from my relationships with people!. This is new, scary information for me and I don't know quite what to do with it yet!. I started a job about a year ago and am still struggling with my new relationships there!. I'm struggling with being myself vs!. the need to be close to people!. I want people to totally accept me for who I am but am finding the need for compromise!. Maybe I need to accept that relationships are imperfect!. Maybe I don't realize that building relationships takes time!. I used to push people away because I came from my family with an incredible sense of obligation!. My life was not my own!. It belonged to my parents becaue they fed my and clothed me and took care of me!. Life is a series of have to's not want to's!. This is why I pushed people away!. I thought I SHOULD want to dedicate my life to my parents!. I thought I SHOULD want to please people all the time!. But I didn't and felt guilty for it!. And for this I was uncomfortable with people!. When someone wanted to come close to me all I felt was guilt and obligation, and I ran!. I still have to learn to get close to people in this new environment, the one where I know how much they mean to me!. How do I hold onto myself while still getting close to others!? Can I do that!? Let me know how you do!. I'm curious!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |