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Question: Is my introduction any good!?!?!?
Hello people, I need help in writing my intro and if you have any tips or suggestions, let me know!!! This is what I have so far!.!.!.
I must admit i am not a good writer and I am in the process in becoming one but I need scrutiny so i could improve!.
Below is my introduction to my paper!. I am writing a paper stating that the "mass media" is not in control by the elite and the powerful few!. I am focusing on radio stations only because that the part i chose to do!.!.!. Please critique!!!
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There is a strong believe by a handful of people that many U!.S!. radio stations are controlled or owned by a powerful few!. This misconception is a bizarre view of small radical groups and is not an actual representation of the entire population!. These conspiracies theories have been developed by strange people that believe any fictional book or movie!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Here's how I myself would tighten up the prose to your introduction a bit::
A few people strongly believe that many American radio stations are owned or controlled by a small, powerful elite!. This strange idea is held by small radical fringe groups and not by the entire population!. Such conspiracy theories have been developed by gullible people who believe any off-the-wall novel or movie!.
(By the way, I don't agree with you!)
Harleigh Kyson Jr!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It sounds too broad!. "Powerful few" needs to be changed to something more concise!. "Small radical groups" also needs to be more concise!. How are they conspiracy theories!? Is there some cabal of the "powerful few!." And your last lines don't flow and don't seem to pertain to anything!. I think you're trying to say that "they" are gullible, but you need to just say it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Hi my friend,
what you think when i call you as a friend,so also start some word like this it looks nice and very friendly,so always start your statement like that,
Then go "i have question for all of you,and need your help to give ,me your suggestion on this!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.so that should be the way to start your introduction,I hope I am right,if you think so please go ahead,wish you good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
First two sentences are good!. Think about changing the second to "!.!.!.not an actual representation of the majority of the population!."
last sentence needs revision!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
There is a strong Belief { not believe } these conspiracy theories- s on the end of book, that sounds fine to me,Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am sorry I cannot be your ghost writer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is that all!? Or you just disect the introductonary parts into two parts that I couldn't understand the last context relative to the front part!. Anyway, here is my personal opinions about your writtings!. For the first sentence, you might be able to add time such as Nowadays, there are!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. also, just what the other question answer said about typo about belief and own by a powerful few should be corrected into few powerful what!? (tycoon or whoelse)!. And this misconcetion is a bizzare, incorrect points of view FROM some certain small radical group!. And that is not an actual representation and recognition for the entirely whole society!. In facts, these conspiracy theories have been developing by a group of people who twist their belief any idiological thought since ___(when) ( ps why book or movie!? if you would like fill book or movies in this sentence, then you got to name the title of book or movie to demostrate or support what you believe!.)!.!.!. !.that is it!. TATA !.!.!. Good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com