Why is Father Like This? (Please Help)?

Question: Why is Father Like This!? (Please Help)!?

Father has told us that he wants to see us kids on the streets, that he doesn't care what happens to us, that he wants to see my mother starve, and he spent her entire savings and took money from her!. They've been married 36 years, and my mother is a very good mother working, cooking, cleaning and all that!. He even would betray us by telling all the family private stuff to everyone that would listen and even make a lot of things up!. If a father was loving why on earth would he do this!?

Why is he like this!? What kind of hate would promote this in him!? What do you suggest!?

No he didn't use drugs or drink!.

NOTE: I ask this in philosphy, because I was brought up to love your parents, but how can you love when your father wishes you on the street, and hates you for no reason I mean the whole family!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Unfortunately, not all adults and parents deserve our love, admiration and respect!. Some people are so troubled inside, that we just have to pray that the Lord will intervene!. Your mother seems to be a saint and she needs your love and encouragement and support!. as for yourfather,try not to take what he says personally!. He is angry with himself and he does not know how to vent this anger except, outwardly!. I don't know your age or how many siblings you have,but it seems you are the backbone of the children!. So, try to be a good example for the rest of you and know that you are very special, especially to God!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it sounds to me as if he is very stressed, and is unable to cope with whatever is going on in his life!.

this is just suspect, I can not completely form an evaluation based on the information given!.

try talking with him about his actions, perhaps hearing how he is hurting his loved ones, from a loved one will have an impact, and improve your situation!.

good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com

love doesn't mean excusing bad behavior!. If you love your father then you should be honest with him and tell him you can't have a relationship with him!. Your father probably hates himself and took it out on others!. Stay healthy and love yourself!Www@QuestionHome@Com

ouch, this makes me want to cry!. maybe try talking to a counselor or somebody that can get your moms money back!. go to court for verbal child abuse!. I know you probably don't want to do this to your dad but what he is doing to you is NOT right!. GO TO COURT!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Maybe they got married quickly and the Father just didn't want to continue the relationship!.Or maybe he just didn't want kids and so taking out his anger about having kids on the kids and the kids' mother!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you must love and understand why people do things, well maybe not love it but understand, anyway I think you must fix this in a good way!.!.!. you decide what a good way is my friend!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would first ask, has he always been this way or is this recent behavior!? If it's only just started after being a good Father for most of your life I would be thinking he is mentally ill and needs help!. If he has always been this way and your parents have been married for 36 years, then it's probably been going on for many years and you are now just becoming aware of it!. your Mother has had many opportunities to leave him yet she chooses to stay!. It CAN'T be love, because loving someone is about trust, kindness, and caring !. Therefore it might be up to you now that you are grown, to help your Mother see what she must do and get away from this abusive man at lastWww@QuestionHome@Com

this is an example of Chain Reaction, u did not state how ur dad was raised but from seeing this i assume he was raised in a very cold family he hardly saw his parents and he does not want to get attach to his own family because he might be afraid of being left alone and getting hurt all over again, if this is not the case the only answer is that ur dad is in the verge of dementia, no offense he should really get some help if he is not willing u can always call the city where u live and they can give u guys free help!.!.!.
well the last thing i can say is he really doesnt love any of you guys and he wanted his life to be completly different and he cant think of anything else but blame u guys for what he is going though but then again he might just love you guys but does not know how to show it!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really don't have enough background information, but scientifically it sounds like he may be suffering from an injury to the brain, or he may have recently started taking a new drug that is altering his temperament!. Of course it all depends on if this is a recent development or if he's always been like this!. If its recent, it could be anything from severe head trauma, new prescription drug, a tumor, to depression and anxiety!. For example, a person who had suffered severe injury in his frontal lobe became a bitter, angry, mean person who found it hard love others!. Same with people suffering from depression and stress!.

If he's always been like this, then its a combination of nature plus nurture!. He may be genetically predisposed to be like this!. And from a philosophic view called Determinism, his environment shaped him to be who he is today!. Determinism says that if from the moment we were born, we are shaped by infinite, however minuscule events and factors around us, we never had a chance to be something different!. Our surrounding determins how we act in any situation!.

Ultimately though, this doesn't change the fact that your father is a prick and doesn't deserve your love or respect!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Unless there is a reason for this that you're not telling us, and I'm not suggesting that there is, Daddy is acting very immature and irresponsible!. His actions are so selfish and despicable that I see no reason for you to treat him as your father!. He's actng like an enemy and should be treated as such!.
As the other posters suggest, I think you should talk to him about the horror he is inflicting upon his family, and if he won't turn around, lovingly sue him back to the stone age!. Kick him to the curb as he has done to you and get emancipated from him!.
Just because we are family doesn't mean we love or deserve love in return for brutality!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds as if he is very frustrated and unhappy!. His life may not be going in the direction he wants it to, and he is resentful and blaming everyone for it!. He seems to want to strike back and be hurtful!. Unfortunately I dont see that there is much to be done about it, just try to avoid him as much as possible until you can move out (It may be years, I know)!. If it gets worse see if there is a relative or someone you could stay with!. You shouldnt have to be subjected to this kind of abuse, but realize the real problem is not you, its him!Www@QuestionHome@Com