Question Home

Position:Home>Philosophy> Why are zombies always trying to eat me?


Question: Why are zombies always trying to eat me!?
I am a good catholic man,very good father figure,and a hard working man that works 50 hours a week to provide for his family!. But I never understood why Zombies don't like me!. It all started back in 1987 when I was only 21 years old!. I was walking home from a party at about 1 a!.m, when from out of nowhere, a group of Zombies started chasing me!. I started screaming to them to leave me alone, but they wouldn't listen and chased me all the way to my house!. When I arrived at my home, I immediately went to my room and hid under my bed!. I was in tears, I had never been so scared in my entire life!. My mom didn't help!. She always try to scare me!. Knowing that I was afraid of zombies, she once paid five of my friends 50 bucks each to dress up like zombies and scare me!. I almost had a heart attack, and have never spoken to my mother or friends since!. Last week, I was walking home with my 10 year old son from a strip club, When from out of nowhere, a pack of fit zombies started chasing me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
OMG 50 DOLLARS!?!Www@QuestionHome@Com

zombies arent that hard to take care of as long as the infestation stays small,

you need to pick up a copy of the zombie survival guide by max brooks, itll tell you everything you need to know about surviving zombies, everything from effective weapons to how you can fortify your house

and dont be afraid to "kill" them, they're already deadWww@QuestionHome@Com

Walking home with your 10-year-old from a strip club!?!!!!!!!


Get yourself to an emergency room, now, and tell them what you have written here on Yahoo Answers!.

A good catholic man---strip club!? Something is seriously wrong here!

God Bless your little kid!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Um, because you're a "Rotten Sandwich"!?!


*Check username if you are a tad slow!.*Www@QuestionHome@Com

They hide under your bed so cut the legs of your bed and they wont be able to get out and you will be rid of themWww@QuestionHome@Com

No big deal!. They just want to eat your brains to stop their pain!.

Exactly why they would want your particular brain is the real question!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

They just think that you're a slut and hoping that you will eventually say, Yes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You must be a very yummy & delicious troll! ;-)Www@QuestionHome@Com

see kids!. this is why we all need an education!. so that we don't grow up to be losers who spend their time writing a gigantic paragraphs based on how zombies chased them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Maybe your screen name is a clue!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This has gotta be in the "weirdest questions" list!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

They think you are sexy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wat the hell!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

because u said u r a catholic man and u got home from a strip club with a 10 year oldWww@QuestionHome@Com

hello mr sandwhich,
I feel your pain on every level!. it is an affliction of the gifted few!. I alas am not a gifted one, so have never had the pleasure of your experience! Instead of running from them, try talking to them and listen to the pattern of their grunts!. They will deliver the message that you have been sent by the powers that be!. it is your mission in life!. Please, you must not run away from them, the fate of the world is in your hands!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is a historical fact that Zombies hate good Catholics, that's because of the exorcism factor which pre-zombian creatures are forced to undergo by Catholic priests!. also, the one thing that Zombies love beyond all make-belief is Rotten Sandwitches!. Your son being the natural inheritor of both these gifts, will be fighting off Zombies all his life!. No wonder, good dad that you are, you seek to enrich his young life with strip club pleasures, in preparation to face future terrors!. Good man!Www@QuestionHome@Com