Why do most people prefer to talk first about their MISERIES and only secondly a

Question:...they still have any left?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: ...they still have any left?

Did you know that you are typically 9 to 12 times more likely to criticize and insult and point out faults than you are to praise someone for doing good.

Especially in any Americanized society this is true. Kids these days grow up never being sure of their skills and virtues... lacking confidence in themselves... while being completely sure of their negative attributes. Peers arent the only ones at fault... mostly parents do this to their children.

Its habit. We dont like seeing others succeed... especially if they are competitive and, again, especially if they are succeeding in areas that you fail. We like knocking other people down a notch... for pride, ego stroking, and making ourselves feel better about who we are... because few of us have anything to be proud about. Undermine the other guy... if you cant win, find a way to let the underdog win, but whatever you do, dont let your next best competition win in your stead. Failing hurts... failing when you give it your all hurts even worse. And so people fail to try so they dont fail in trying... success is minimal and so is pride... but arrogance is in excess.

Furthermore, we seek validation for our suffering. That is also why we gossip (on top of undermining others). We seek sympathy. This is also why people need to believe in mysticism, divine purpose, or conspiracy theories... it gives themselves a sense of purpose, that their suffering isnt for nothing, isnt for any fault of their own... and so alleviates guilt and a sense of responsibility to ones self.

We seek sympathy from others for the same reason... but also seeking empathy is a way of seeking comfort, a helping hand, confidence in others.

We enjoy hearing about others suffering, so that out lives feel better than others. So that there is something to gossip about. So that you can find an opening to establish friendships by being supportive. People want friends who rely on them because they can be made dependent... while themselves having friends that they -can- be reliant on.

Most people have selfish reasons for wanting to talk, wanting to listen, and everything else... I am a cynic, yes, but people arent as good hearted as some of these answerers would like to indicate. People become biased too, wanting to believe humans are a certain way so that they know how to fake their way, and because they are optimistic of humanity... and so they adopt these false ideals about why they do the things they do, believing themselves to be virtuous.

Sounds like they want a pity party. They want someone to feel bad for them.

It is difficult to enjoy the moment if you are in pain or worried or preoccupied. It is sometimes good therapy to voice your miseries to get them out of your system. Then you can be open to the joys of happiness.

Because they want help with their problems and they don't want to mess up their happiness.

opening your "soul" or sharing your plight is a way of bonding with a person and showing your vulnerabilities. It's kind of primal. Problem is, some people done know when the bonding is done and the sharing of strengths and happy times should begin!!

Because people will sympathize with miseries and ignore happiness for they may have none .

Because nobody is going to need advice and consolation to get over their happiness.