Is there a greater pain than the PAIN of losing a child?

Question:There is no greater pain. My youngest so died at the age of 21. It was totally unexpected,
I felt like I died too.
He had an unexpected heart attack. He didn't seem like someone who would. He was in the air force.
I would often sob in the car, because I could do so as loud as I could and at times scream.
I would pray. Then there were times I just sat looking in to empty space no emotions.
It has been five years and the pain is just as fresh. It will never go away. As a parent we deal with it. And at times the grief is just as fresh as the first day it happened. Some holidays there are warm wonderful memories. Other holidays are depressing. I never know how I will be. Sinse he was in the air force. I react on the 4th of july and Veterins day I can be in grief. Sometimes I have joy other times none. His last birthday went right by me. Other years I am on my couch crying all day.

It took me three years to put up a picture of him. And four years to take the military flag out of the closet. I have a hard time sometimes looking at baby pictures. other times I avoid the memories.

When he first passed. I couldnt say some years so I would spell them. Like I would spell the word b o d y or dead D e a d .

seeing his lifeless body was the worse. I am a nurse and have been around death , But this is my babby, the child my doctor said I would never concieve. He was such a joyous gift.

It took me a long time to get in to the viewing room. My daughter held me up. I fell to my knees and sobbed when I got my first glimps of him. This can't be true I kept thinking. I cried and cried. I couldn't touch him. I had held my dads hand and kissed his forhead at his furneral.
But, this is my child. my flesh. I grew him within me. I breast fed him, I cared for and nutrured him. He was 21 and the age didn't matter he was still my baby my child.

The pastor suggested I touch his hair, if I couldn't touch any other part of him.
I kept crying.......he isn't in his body, why isn't he in his body. (irrational I know) I can't begin to tell you how much pain it was.

At the grave yard service. The Air Force was incredable to us as a family and friends. When they lowered him in to the ground I felt frantic. In my mind I was screaming......."don't shut the lid, don't put him in the ground. He can't breath here, he will be so cold. Please don't do that. Eventually I was saying that to people. In a quiet voice. I assured them that I know reality but my mother's heart was frantic. And I still worry about his body. Worry that he is cold and alone. How can he breath down there?
Irrational I know, but it is part of my grief. Grief doesn't always make since. It comes in denial, anger, depressed, peace. and it cycles around.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: There is no greater pain. My youngest so died at the age of 21. It was totally unexpected,
I felt like I died too.
He had an unexpected heart attack. He didn't seem like someone who would. He was in the air force.
I would often sob in the car, because I could do so as loud as I could and at times scream.
I would pray. Then there were times I just sat looking in to empty space no emotions.
It has been five years and the pain is just as fresh. It will never go away. As a parent we deal with it. And at times the grief is just as fresh as the first day it happened. Some holidays there are warm wonderful memories. Other holidays are depressing. I never know how I will be. Sinse he was in the air force. I react on the 4th of july and Veterins day I can be in grief. Sometimes I have joy other times none. His last birthday went right by me. Other years I am on my couch crying all day.

It took me three years to put up a picture of him. And four years to take the military flag out of the closet. I have a hard time sometimes looking at baby pictures. other times I avoid the memories.

When he first passed. I couldnt say some years so I would spell them. Like I would spell the word b o d y or dead D e a d .

seeing his lifeless body was the worse. I am a nurse and have been around death , But this is my babby, the child my doctor said I would never concieve. He was such a joyous gift.

It took me a long time to get in to the viewing room. My daughter held me up. I fell to my knees and sobbed when I got my first glimps of him. This can't be true I kept thinking. I cried and cried. I couldn't touch him. I had held my dads hand and kissed his forhead at his furneral.
But, this is my child. my flesh. I grew him within me. I breast fed him, I cared for and nutrured him. He was 21 and the age didn't matter he was still my baby my child.

The pastor suggested I touch his hair, if I couldn't touch any other part of him.
I kept crying.......he isn't in his body, why isn't he in his body. (irrational I know) I can't begin to tell you how much pain it was.

At the grave yard service. The Air Force was incredable to us as a family and friends. When they lowered him in to the ground I felt frantic. In my mind I was screaming......."don't shut the lid, don't put him in the ground. He can't breath here, he will be so cold. Please don't do that. Eventually I was saying that to people. In a quiet voice. I assured them that I know reality but my mother's heart was frantic. And I still worry about his body. Worry that he is cold and alone. How can he breath down there?
Irrational I know, but it is part of my grief. Grief doesn't always make since. It comes in denial, anger, depressed, peace. and it cycles around.

probably not, not one that I could imagine

I doubt it.

I cannot even begin to imagine something like that...actually that is my greatest fear...I love my kids more than anything in this world...

Having experienced it, I can honestly say no.

No... there is no pain greater then losing ur child if i ever lost my son god forbids i dont know what i would do..

losing my mother, but i would actually put them together and call them equal.

NO there is not! It stays with you forever.

An unborn child... it happens. A child you've raised and loved, nothing in this world could be worse than that.

I dont know but I pray that I never have to know that pain. I can only imagine that it would be the worst pain imaginable and my heart goes out to anyone who has had to cope with the loss of a child. It breaks my heart into a million peices just thinking about it.

A lifetime without parents isn't so easy, either.
I have no children, but I know about loss.
I'm sorry for your loss.

I believe we don't have any right to quantify the PAIN of other people, unless we have experienced that same kind of PAIN. To say that there is a lesser or greater PAIN than what other people have experienced is unjust and insensitive.

Perhaps, if we rephrase the question as : what pain do you think would be the greatest for you? My answer would be losing my love ones.

I would not know what I would do if I lose them.

I don't think there is. I lost my connection to God, and that was very painful.

i cant imagine having to bear that burden... no parent should have to bury their child... no there is no greater pain than losing a child b/c you loved them with all your heart, and they had a FULL life infront of them, and it was just taken... my condolences (my apologies about the spelling) go out to anyone who had to face this burden

really not,as it is the law of the nature for parents passing away first,so it'll be quite unusual.

The biggest pain is to know that you could've done something to save a cause but you didn't, losing a loved one is also very sad moment., may be the above point I mention can be better of called biggest "regret"

For the woman no but for the man yes, it is the loss of both mother and child. At birth is one thing if you raise the boy to be an adult and he is taken from you suddenly, without even a chance to say goodbye. No, not even your own death.

my answer to this may sound trite but I lost a child and during her illness I actually met a woman who had lost her whole family in a fire., five children, a mother and her husband.

So no, no pain is greater than losing a child but that pain can be magnified tenfold by circumstances.This was the worst thing I have ever experienced but I had time, a year and I think of that last year with her as the best year of my life. so ....How we approach loss will determine how excruciating the experience is.... If you have lost a child recently, your sorrow is my sorrow.

Some how, now after these many years I feel I haven't lost her. She remains inside me as long as I have the ability to remember her.

No, there is none... I have lost two brothers. Even tho it was very bad and painful for me, looking back, I can not even imagen how it must haven been for my parents....

No.

I can't imagine anything worse. I have a daughter with a terminal condition and I can only pray that God won't take her without giving me enough coping skills. I can add though, that losing your mother is right up there.

clearly you've never lost a ￡50 note.

try getting your toes smashed in with a hammer