Why is it so hard to say no to people?

Question:I'll often find myself doing things I don't want to do,
Just so I'm able to make people happy and loved in life.

Thanks alot for your help :)

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I'll often find myself doing things I don't want to do,
Just so I'm able to make people happy and loved in life.

Thanks alot for your help :)

You know, I learned too late in life to say no. There are self help books on how to learn to say no gracefully and without feeling guilty. There is a girl at work who is super-nice. She has the rep for it and does whatever anyone tells her without complaint. Others say, "She's so sweet but the poor girl does what everyone tell her."
What I learned to do is say, "I wish I could but..." or "You know, I'd love to help but I can't right now. But thanks for asking!" It is not a "Hell no!" so it is not rude and you feel good about yourself. It takes getting used to.

It isn't. You just open your mouth and say no.

I ask the same question to myself everyday. i don't know. but ur not alone.

maybe try writing "no" on an A4 piece of card. then, when someone asks you for something, hold up the card

I Find It Hard To Say No Aswell I Guess I Just Want To Keep Everyone Happy And I Always Think Of The Reasons To Do Something Instead Of The Reasons To Not.

xx

obviously,you're a very sensitive person,set on making sure everyone else is happy.right?
well, you don't say no because you sub-consciously believe you are the only one doing something nice to them.go on!say no!and if it makes you feel bad,say it in a nice way.

So true. Sometimes you are burning inside and u still can't say no. Some people take advantage of this weakness.

Also, some people can be very overpowering, its easier to say yes than it is to say no.

It gets easier to say no as you get older. There's no reason why you can't start now. Just go with your gut feeling and say no...you are your own person and can make your own decisions...start now, just say no...I'm busy, I have other plan. There is no reason to lie or make up why you can't, Honesty is always the best way to go that way you sleep well at night...It doesn't always have to be about them... Good luck...

it isn't hard to do your just obviosuly letting people 'push you over' so to speak, learn to say no, don't be anyones push over

Its a skill you learn

Now I NEVER buy anything I dont want, take out a store card I dont want or anything

Life is better since I learned how to do this!

Now, this is an interesting question, and that is because of a film I saw last night called 'Sin City'. One of the major crooks said that once you lie but know in your heart that you have lied - and that everyone has lied too - and so everyone knows they've lied and they'd rather have it that way than stand up and say no...get the picture. I kept saying no. I've got no friends because my heart would not let me lie.

its your feelings, i do it
regret it sometimes, its a can but don't thing
ahhh brain melt

It is the nature of most humans to want to please others. So your feelings are normal.

It is also human nature to manipulate others. As humans we play all kinds of games to influence each other and to get others to do the things that we want them to do. This is also normal. Sometimes we don't even know that we are asking others to do things that they don't want to do.

A part of being an adult is understanding this. Setting your own goals and working to achieve the things you want in life and that make you happy.

Be assertive, explain to others that they are asking you to do things that you don't want to do.

Your answer is clear in your second sentence(!)
Learn to exercise some critical judgement, for your own sake.
Need I point out that manipulative people can/will take advantage of your good nature? Such people suck, and they can cost you dearly.

Because we have not learned our lesson yet and are too kind. This is a most interesting question!!! I would like to go into detail about the answers, but not here. Catch me on myspace and we'll go from there.
Marcus

Would you please kiss me? If you say yes, you might end up with a prince.

It OK to say no to people, you need to say no at times if you keep on saying yes to people than they will take you for granted. Your problem is that you are too passive this mean you will do anything for anyone and agree with anyone cause you don't want to hert anyone and don't want con flick. You need to be assertive its in between so you not pasive but you are not agressive.

Because their need to know, is sometimes not to know. Anytime!!

It happens that sometimes one hears a sense of music chorusingly along , in effect - the flow.
Then it's hard to let go
of even the goofiest google of yahoo poetry
until an emotionally satisying truth well unfurls
to succinctly state an end to it all
some capital central issue pinned down on the map
of the conversation that can sprawl.

"keep talking, something about the sound of your voice", and "that (point) reminds me"

some show and tells must simply go on
if indeed they do!
even pay for view
one might not say "no"
just in order to keep
paying attention
too!

The loveliness of nature
irressistable to human animals
(I am an animal in all)
being involved
relationships
even in passing migration
dialogues with customer service reps on the make Hey! for pay
what the hay anyway

every living thing
loves to say
(if not to sing)

I find myself doing the same. We have a need to please, a need to keep the peace. It's not that bad, but we need to be aware of it and learn to say no. After all people say no to us and we deal with it, don't we?

I understand what you are going through but you can change. It is not as hard as you think. Try to build up your confidence a little bit at a time. You dont have to be mean about it but if you really dont want to do something then say so. Practice in front of a mirror or a family member it might make it a little easier.

People are constantly asking you for favours and making you feel guilty when you cant help them!
Its because YOU are always so darn nice!
Ah yes, they all ask so nicely...
Deal them with a pleasant 'NO'!
Why let people use the 'nice guilt-tripper' on you!?

that's called tolerance and partly warm heartedness, that's your nature you can't change it and you should not cos, such people will never miss help. It will come even if from anyone even thoe you don't know.
Some people are never saying YES.

If it doesn`t feel right don`t do it, you are going against your inner feelings just to keep someone happy. This is not good for your soul.