My mum was telling me how it is bad to get attached to pets and also to things a

Question:I already have commitment issues, but this doesn't help.

She was saying how getting too attached to pets or people will have you end up heartbroken. I knew this, but isn't it part of life?

Is it realistic to want to live without attachments, or is it all worth it? What is your personal opinion?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I already have commitment issues, but this doesn't help.

She was saying how getting too attached to pets or people will have you end up heartbroken. I knew this, but isn't it part of life?

Is it realistic to want to live without attachments, or is it all worth it? What is your personal opinion?

Your mom is jaded by bad experiences. Attachments are a normal and healthy part of socialization. The more you love something, the more it hurts when you lose it. That is just the way of things.
Everything passes. Love, hate, boredom, food and on and on and on.
A famous author once said and is often quoted, "...better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all." You don't want to guard against all forms of love because then you would never experience love is what it means.
This is not to say your mother is bad or wrong. She's trying to do what parents are supposed to do, protect you. The last thing she wants to see is your face when your heart is broken for some reason. It's just the problem with children. They grow up and they learn.
The crux of the biscuit is that she's having a hard time coming to terms with you growing up and being exposed to the world that she already knows can be very cruel at times. Also the fact that she can't stop this from happening.
Just show her that you love her. Also show her that you depend on her,,,just not as much as before.
Remember, "this too shall pass".

Well, I don’t agree with your mother (sorry mom) but you’re right about the heart. It is life which inevitably results in death for humans as well. It sounds like your mom’s had her heart broken one too many times and doesn’t’ want you to go through it. Even though she means well it’s not the right direction to go in for love-giving by a parent. This is where you have become the adult and need to leave your mothers insecurities for her to pray about. Actually, now that I mention it, pray for her, it sounds like she needs a pick-me-up about life! Cheers mate.

your mum is so wrong. "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

get some booze n foget the pets lol

attachments help u get through life i have many and some i cant live without i think ur mom might have lost someone and is trying to keep u safe from those problems

Why don't some breathing altogether. Then you won't have to worry about getting your heart broken.

I get very attached to people and pets. I think it's because I have low self-esteem. But, ya, I guess people should be attached to other things/people since we all don't want to die alone.

You cannot go through life with out becoming attached. Does this mean your mother doesnt love you? Because she doesnt want to go through the pain of losing you? Thas a terrible excuse. I lost my dog last week and she was the most beautiful thing in my life. I honestly felt like dying...its the most aweful feeling in the world but in time it gets better. There is a famos saying that states " It is better to love and lost than it is to never have loved at all"

pft definetly worth it coz u wol find som1 eventually

**** pets, things, and people. Live your life.

Well, you don't want to be lonely all your life. Losing a loved one and death is a part of life. It's better to have loved then never loved at all.

no...that puts you at a distance with everything. commitment issues can be worked out but if you listen to your mother this will go far beyond "commitment issues".

I couldnt disagree with your mother anymore.
In my opinion, she is totally wrong. I've always been attached to my animals.

Well, yea. I mean if you get to used to someone or you get really attached to them and they hurt you or die then you could have some serious problems and just be stressed and depressed all the time. So in my opinion I agree with your mom. You shouldn't get too attached someone or something.

You deny yourself the feeling of love and sharing if you do. She's got a particularly jaded view of life which should NOT be influencing YOUR choices at all.

Love where you will. Be good to pets, get as attached as you can to them, they share so much. Same with people, but always remember that nothing is 100% guaranteed to be there forever.

Don't let her view of the world warp you. You'll be loosing out on so much in life and wonder why others are happy and you're not.

Everything has risks. Despite the fact that you sometimes get heartbroken, making attachments is what life is all about.

You're mom is way off... she sounds kind of bitter. If you want to live your life alone and be lonley then that's where it's realistic...

To me i think that if you get to attached to a pet that when it eventually dies that you will be heratbroken,so try not to get too attached

You are right. It is part of life. People need to have attachments, friendships and love. It does hurt when you lose that connection, but it is life. It think life would be nothing without love.

She is and isn't right. This because if you get attached too much and a friendship breaks it will be bad but stay cool but not overly obsessive cool with the person unless friends forever and they trust you too.

so totally but not really for humans if you don't get "attached" then you just end up driving them away and that would be bad i think she is just trying to make it so you don't get hurt if something random would happen : )

It depends on your beliefs. Some philosophies teach that attachment to material things is bad. If you or your mother want to take that approach to life, do it right and study those beliefs. I think Theravada Buddhism is one of those beliefs. Don't just say life is meaningless or anything like that.

So does this mean she does not have an attachment to you. I think what she is telling you is impossible to do if you truly live your life. Does she think we are just supposed to use other people and never really care about them. Do not follow her advice on this.

i think its a joy to have a pet around there really good friends when your lonly

It is realistic to want to live without attachment but its impossible. And I would say that anyone who have tried are depressed because they are thats what they really want. At some point in everyones life thats what they yearn for. But the way I see it you get heartbroken either way. You really need to think about which heartbreak you can handle.

You'll have a lonely life. It sounds as if your Mom has had some heartbreaks. There's no better feeling than loving someone. I'm divorced but I do not regret loving my ex. He taught me so much, good and bad and it helped mold me into who I am and I like me! I love my two dogs. We've been together for 8 years. If they were to die tomorrow I will be sad and heartbroken but they gave me 8 years of joy. Why spend you life being alone and miserable just because you may be heartbroken. Having joy and being loved a little while beats never having it at all.

no its not realistic to live without attatchments.. yea it really hurts when tht person leaves.. but is it really worth living your life alone?

sure people do come and go.. but each one makes you into the person you are now or will be tommorrow. No matter what you think there is no way to hide your feelings forever and there is no way you can live without friends..

never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game =)
hope i helped

no, no. i don't agree at all with your mum. what is life if you arent truely living? and what is living without love??! nothing! you have the right idea, you shouldnt go through life constantly on the defensive.

I can see your mum's point of view but you are right - it is not very realistic. When I was little my pet budgie died and I cried for weeks on end. My mum said from that point on - no more pets. For years I didn't have any pets until my husband bought me a rabbit. Later a cat came and decided to stay at our house. She stayed for about 10 months and then went missing. I cried for that cat and did so much to find her. My mum said that I shouldn't have gotten a pet. My rabbit which I had for 5 and a half years went missing a year ago. I cried for her as well. Now I know I am going to get upset if my pet goes missing but the time I have my pets I am really happy. Actually studies have shown that people with pets are generally happier than those without a pet. Life is full of good and bad. If you were to take your mum's advise you could never get married. You need to get close to your husband - you can't always be at a distance. And yes you may have to go through a few bad break ups to find the right guy or you could be luckily and not have to. But you need to risk it to find the right guy. I suggest you get a pet. You know there is a chance that they could go missing or die - but unfortuantely that is also true with close friends and relatives but you can't go through life without anyone and always be alone. At the time when a pet goes missing it feels like you can't go on and you will never love a pet as much as the one you had but you do somehow manage to feel better about it and not cry every time you think of your pet and somehow you love your new pet more and more. This happened to me to. I searched weekly at the pound for my missing cat. Eventually I saved a cat that was going to be put down. I wasn't replacing my cat but saving the life of another. At first I was always comparing her to my other cat and thinking my other cat was better. Now I have had her for over 2 years and I love her and I have stopped comparing her to my other cat ages ago. I suggest you get a pet if you want one. It could bring years of happiness.

It is better to make attachments and go through the pain when someone is lost than to live alone.

this reminds me of a line from an email i received...it said:

life isn't about how many moments you breathe but how many moments that take your breath away.

living and existing are two totally different things. everything we are exposed to, good or bad makes us who we are.

as for me, i have chosen to live...sounds like that is what you want to do too. it is the brave thing to do, existing is the safe thing to do.