Why control your love?

Question:I've noticed in many relationships that people try to control the one's they love. If you truly love an individual wouldn't you want them to be happy? Is not the most loving thing that you can do for an individual to allow them to grow into who they are; with or without you? Is not knowing that you love them enough? Or must you know that they love you in return; in order to avoid feeling scornful?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I've noticed in many relationships that people try to control the one's they love. If you truly love an individual wouldn't you want them to be happy? Is not the most loving thing that you can do for an individual to allow them to grow into who they are; with or without you? Is not knowing that you love them enough? Or must you know that they love you in return; in order to avoid feeling scornful?

Control comes from a lack of self love, a need to dominate so that one feels powerful and successful. real mature love cannot exist where this condition exists.

Control is a funny kinda thing, everyone seems to want it but few actually have the power to weild it. I think in a relationship there shouldn't be "control", there should be mutual respect and patience to let one another grow and blossom into who they are. If you are lucky, the person you are with is a compliment to your personality and helps you grow into a wonderful well rounded person. They say opposites attract and i believe it is so. Me and my husband are opposites and we help each other with our strengths and weaknesses. He brings me calm and I bring him excitement. Don't get me wrong, we have our moments but we find a way to work things out equally. We work together as a team knowing we are not perfect and we have to give each other space sometimes to do things and let us figure things out on our own. My husband is the procrastinator from hell sometimes and I want it done now, while i am thinking about it, and get it done!! But we manage to work well together.

There just needs to be a balance and know that certain things are better done by the other half while other things can be taken care of by you alone. My husband is younger than I am and I also had a child before we started our relationship, I have been though alot of different experiences that he hasn't and sometimes I think it bugs him to ask about the 2 children we now have together. Also before we married I did not know how he truly felt about me for the longest time. We both had pretty strained relationships before we got together and we both had to move on from those before we were really happy together. Control was the underlying issue in previous relationships, who was better than who, but we both agreed that we needed to let one another know how we are feeling torward one another and even if it is bad, have our say, we cannot grow without love and nurturing and we have just managed to do that for one another. I think fate had a hand in it. I don't know if this really answers you question but bottom line is control should be left out of relationships and love should be there to stay together or you should let go. I thought love was enough just from me but i got lucky and he loved me in return. Not all relationships are like that. Personality has a huge role in it.

Good question though.

Because of LOVE. The really example is the love between parents and children. Why the parent control their children. Because we want the best thing for our be love so we just try to do everything to make sure that their get it. The only one mistake is that we forget to ask them that do they want the same thing as we want. (Something that most people think are good may not good for our be love.) This is the reason why the control happen.