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Question:How has this search for the absolute perfection in others has it hampered you so that you have become your own skeleton of the fish on the plate you had prepared to eat...nothing but bones ans spines, which now you know will hurt your mouth, and everything it travels through, SHOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO SWALLOW IT...EAT IT!
This is where this search of mine has led me.
I can not even FIND what I searched for, because it is further becoming a fossil.
To whomever this question applies, will you tell me your story?
Thank you!
G.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: How has this search for the absolute perfection in others has it hampered you so that you have become your own skeleton of the fish on the plate you had prepared to eat...nothing but bones ans spines, which now you know will hurt your mouth, and everything it travels through, SHOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO SWALLOW IT...EAT IT!
This is where this search of mine has led me.
I can not even FIND what I searched for, because it is further becoming a fossil.
To whomever this question applies, will you tell me your story?
Thank you!
G.
Don't seek perfection in others, only in yourself. Let them find their own perfection. Maybe you'll run across someone who's imperfection will suit you.

A friend and I were talking one day about 20 years ago about our husbands. She told me she couldn't stand it if her husband traveled as much as mine did. I replied that I'd have to kill my husband if he drank or gambled the way hers did. We concluded, in the negative juncture, that all men are @ssholes, and you just have to figure out which kind irritates you the least.

I got a stupid "girlfriends are the best" kind of email a couple days ago, but the final sentence really rang a bell for me. Maybe it will help you:

Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be his option. Perfection isn't required, but first position is.
giving less of one. Must tell you this though Daeve, I am beginning to really appreciate being the perfectionist I am...next step will be turning Elitist!
I get so tired of criticism upon criticism by people who seem to know it all, that I a m thankful I am as I am, FINALLY! Thank you, Daeve. Enjoy! Report It
Buddhist #6 (AbiG!)'s Avatar Buddhist #6 (AbiG!)
And my apologies to "The Gravels" He had o placed me on to a link about the issue of the question, but deleted it for some reason. Instead I gave it to "The Grooves" whose name is similar. What "The Gravels" had said had touched me genuinely, but then, just like that the SPIRIT> Report It
Buddhist #6 (AbiG!)'s Avatar Buddhist #6 (AbiG!)
of that brief upon the scene, disappeared. So much for my enthusiasm!
As for you The Grooves, better luck next time! Sorry I had you confused with the one who had a truly sensitive answer...it happens, this mistake of mine more times than I can tolerated . Report It

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  • Dave R's Avatar by Dave R
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    September 15, 2007
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    • What is all this about eating skeletons and fossils and searches being lost? Your question has way too many metaphores to have any specific meaning.
    i just have one question.... what???
    ????
    I concur with the other people who answered your question, you need to reword for improved clarity should you wish to increase the likelihood of people answering your question posed, though it is probably more of a request than a question.

    You seem to be seeking solidarity. I know not what choices you have made to so maim your life and hinder your search, however, it would seem that now you carry a tone of slightest bitterness towards it all.

    I am a perfectionist of sorts but realize as I may that I will never meet my expectations for myself, I still continue this abuse. I would guess that from the sounds of your "question" that you probably lost friends, family, love or some combo of all three... I try very hard not to expect much from others, instead i take them at face value and assume the worst, so that way, I am never disappointed with them, and never begin a relationship with people I do not find at least agreeable. I learned early not to bank on those around me when I really need help... I know not what trials and tribulations life has yet to force me to endure, nor do I know how many relationships could have been salvaged or kept if I had only recognized what i was doing, when I was doing it, or better yet, before I acted at all... and to speculate is a moot and depressing point, so upon such matters as these I daren't dwindle long. I hope that you grow wiser from your pain and learn from your mistakes, as I strive to do... I mostly try to think of what I have and not what I have lost to my foolishness or ignorance, I would hope that you try to do the same, or similar, to realize that one universal principle undermines all the human soul, the one that states simply "life goes on" and recognition of the fact that a mess must be cleaned up or put behind us to the best of our abilities, try to take lessons learned with you and each day work to build a new and better life of which you can be at least satisfied, despite all that once was lost.


    Best wishes,
    :)
    If you really are a Buddhist then you do strive for perfection. You wish to become a Buddha, an enlightened one. You believe that life is suffering. I do admire Buddhism in many aspects especially peace. But to view life as suffering I disagree with. I do strive for perfection, to become the best good person I can be. Though I think it is impossible to be perfect still to have something to strive for is good. I accept that all of us makes mistakes and then we learn from them. I believe personally that good times becomes good memories while bad times become good lessons.

    I believe true enlightenment comes from peace from within, love for one another and happiness and hope for the future.
    The search itself, is the reason IT seems lost.. Perfection is "What IS"...
    In People Perfection has to be imperfect. This may sound foolish .But its TRUE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3hzxBz1B... g


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