What's your opinion about this poem of mine ?

Question:THE PRINCE OF MIST
'Twas Melbourne, as I could feel,
The dusk wore on and my eyes were peeled.
for the sun was sinking and the breeze so fine,
Quite lay the streets but past went the car of mine.
In a blink, my windscreen turned frosty,
Yup! there appeared fog and the air went hazy.
'What an icy drive !' I mumbled soon,
Do not such jaunt come once in a blue moon?
I drove with verve in the misty night,
I drove on lanes under golden light,
My limo lingered by a small tram stop,
I found mydelf on heaven atop.
I fell for glow that played on palm,
The tree that stood in silhoute in calm.
I lost my heart to the city and sheen;
left betoken by the surreal glow of beam!
A sugar-sweet fog I'd ne'er forget;
When I and the beauties of mist had met!!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: THE PRINCE OF MIST
'Twas Melbourne, as I could feel,
The dusk wore on and my eyes were peeled.
for the sun was sinking and the breeze so fine,
Quite lay the streets but past went the car of mine.
In a blink, my windscreen turned frosty,
Yup! there appeared fog and the air went hazy.
'What an icy drive !' I mumbled soon,
Do not such jaunt come once in a blue moon?
I drove with verve in the misty night,
I drove on lanes under golden light,
My limo lingered by a small tram stop,
I found mydelf on heaven atop.
I fell for glow that played on palm,
The tree that stood in silhoute in calm.
I lost my heart to the city and sheen;
left betoken by the surreal glow of beam!
A sugar-sweet fog I'd ne'er forget;
When I and the beauties of mist had met!!

IMHO (I am not a poet nor a professional in the field) - I think this poem could be great if you work on it some more.

The first three lines really grabbed my attention, but then I was distracted by a change in rhythm, and some spelling (Quite or Quiet?) and typos ('mydelf', 'silhoute').

I just didn't want those distractions because I once lived in Melbourne and I wanted to feel what you were feeling.

I love the way you play with the words to make the experience feel real.

Thank you for the memory, and good luck.

It's okay

I think you have potential, this won't of course be your magnum opus, the one you'll be remembered for or anything, but it's shows great potential.

Yes, I have a degree in literature.

good poem, the end
should be more persist.
when i and the beauties of mist had met!!
i felt the beat of my heart,
submit.

I have never given a complement on an Answer poem, but you do show potential. Someone already caught the quite-quiet problem, and it looks like you threw limo in as not to use "car" again. If it is a limo (in the lexicon of everyday speak), I guess you could be carrying the silhouette of nothingness you seem to hint at.

Keep it up.