I have a very, very unusual etiquette question if you wouldn't mind helping

Question:Simply put: I never know how, or when, to end a conversation

It doesn't matter if it is on the telephone or face to face.

It doesn't matter if it is with a good acquaintance or a new friend.

I just don't know when it is polite to call it a day and move on.

Take today for example: I met a new french tutor in a cafe and he spoke to me in French for an hour (that's what he is supposed to do) and then we got chatting and it was very enjoyable

I wasn't sure if I was keeping him behind or if he thought he was keeping me late so I just continued chatting and waited for visual clues.

Eventually he politely glanced at his watch and I had been casually putting on my glasses to give him a polite way out and that was that. No problem

But Americans are more brash and just walk off mid sentence.

Can you advise?

(I live in America and I am English)

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Simply put: I never know how, or when, to end a conversation

It doesn't matter if it is on the telephone or face to face.

It doesn't matter if it is with a good acquaintance or a new friend.

I just don't know when it is polite to call it a day and move on.

Take today for example: I met a new french tutor in a cafe and he spoke to me in French for an hour (that's what he is supposed to do) and then we got chatting and it was very enjoyable

I wasn't sure if I was keeping him behind or if he thought he was keeping me late so I just continued chatting and waited for visual clues.

Eventually he politely glanced at his watch and I had been casually putting on my glasses to give him a polite way out and that was that. No problem

But Americans are more brash and just walk off mid sentence.

Can you advise?

(I live in America and I am English)

I'm French and you're right, politeness is highly important, although, we can be talked to. En premier, tu pouvais lui demander s'il est occupe a quelque chose, il va te repondre. Alors tu poursuis selon. He means it. He must have enjoyed talking to you, since he lasted for a good while. A while later, tu aurais pu lui demander encore s'il avait a partir, il t'auraidit et tu agis encore en consequence. A la fin, je crois qu'il devait partir, donc poliment, il a regarder sa montre et mis ses lunettes en signe de finir, a ce moment la, la conversation.
J'espere que j'ai pu t'aider. Merci et bonne chance!

So do you want to be polite or bash americans? I have never had anybody walk out mid sentence. How about waiting for a pause and then say excuse me and tell them you have to leave. Or you could just bash americans be cause we are the worst at everything right?

heres how i do it.....
"well it was nice meeting you.....(guess i wasted a lot of your time huh?)..well then byebye...."

hope it helps.....i don't say "guess i wasted....." during formal conversations.
good luck :)

those moments of consciousness are quite predictable by both parties wanting to be polite. in a friendship, love is understood. if a person makes me feel uncomfortable, i give tell them whats next on my agenda, and thank them for their company.

It is very easy.
Try to keep standing or being in a crowded place.
When you are in a place where it is too impolite to hold a long conversation, you will both simply end the talking in 5 minutes or less.
Say right away that you have somewhere to go, but you would like to stay in touch. Those five minutes, well, get email addresses, telephone numbers, work numbers?

As for Americans walking away in midsentence- it can happen - to anybody., not just Americans. Two people one on the escalator going up, one coming down. or running in opposite direction trying to catch a flight.

I know. People are so in a hurry. Meaningful conversations are a thing of the past. It is a lost art.

If you are a fairly good conversationalist, and are able to speak fairly well about some topics, then you ought be able to learn to discern accurately enough your partner's level of conversational interest.

Until then and/or if not, follow the clock...limit the conversation in those latter cases to what duration you believe reasonable (five minutes is a minimum for a good conversation, but also may be the maximum as well).

Make a reasonable excuse upon reaching that duration (easily estimated, or check watch, with excuse of next appointment), and if interested in further conversation, offer some route of contact, whatever you are comfortable with, such as a business/greeting card or cell phone number.

Good fortune.

Try, "I'm sure you're busy, it's been a pleasure chatting". Put the focus on them. You could try, "I'll give that a try next time, thanks".

Sound slightly existential to me. Do whatever feels right for you.

Not all Americans are likely to walk out mid sentence. I have a few friends I chat with on the phone and they have ways to end conversation. " I have to go now, I have to run errands today" ( meaning I can't talk on the house phone, b/c I need to be in my car) " I really should go, I have to get somethings done"... " It was nice talking to you, we'll have to do this another time..." I'm not one to end conversation easily... I have learned to better do this, as I have been IMing with a friend I have had errands to attend to and she wanted to talk more... I simply didn't have time. I would politely tell her I had to go to get these errands done and maybe we could later in the evening... looking at one's watch helps to cue the other person, but I really think we shouldn't have guess what the other person when it's time to end the conversation, b/c after all, we have just been talking... State your need to close the conversation and leave... be polite but keep the words few in closing. " nice meeting with you, but I really must go... have x, y, and z to do"... " Maybe we could continue this another time, when I have more time"... If you fear the other person needs to go, simply ask " Am I keeping you from something?"... Of course, conversations could be started with " Are you busy, do you have time to talk?" say on the phone... or IM...
I was not raised to be brash. I was not permitted to act impolite... I was a very shy child and regardless, my parents instructed me to speak when spoken to by an adult and say thank you for gifts received and be quiet when adults are talking amongst themselves...
People don't have the social skills to understand body language anymore... I don't know if the rise of autism... which I have to deal with on a daily basis with an autistic child or not. I think conversations have to be verbally ended... politely, but verbally...

you need to adjust it for every culture,,,,and read some assertiveness techniques...don't think too much...no one else does.