What causes you to drift away from the people you love?

Question:Lack of respect. A loss of appreciation for what it means to have someone truly love you. Usually the number one reason we drift is because we change and we are afraid the people we love today and that love us may not accept who we might become tomorrow. No one effects our self esteem more then our loved ones. The fear of letting them down is worth letting the relationship go. Sometimes it is better not to know what they think then to give them their due. The saddest part is they really love you and only want the best for you even when you don't. Anyone who doesn't; doesn't really love you.
Moving on is easy and it gets easier with practice, just like anything. The less you drift the harder it is when you try to. That is where the lack of discipline comes in. The patience to work through the hard times to salvage the relationships you work so hard to establish in the first place.
It is time we stop treating friends and family like disposable contacts, the minute they begin to irritate us we toss them out. We all deserve better then that. It may be that you have been dumped on enough by other people that you want to beat someone new to the punch, a defense mechanism.
You shouldn't hold on to everyone, as life moves fast maybe they move away, maybe you do. You should however hold on to the people you know are truly golden to you. Everyone has a friend they wish they could just pick up the phone and call. Oh thats right they pissed me off that time so its up to him or her to call me first, meanwhile they are having the same conversation, but i guaranty it wouldn't matter who called who after the phone rang. Maybe a mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother. I lost my older brother last May, and at that time we were in the drifting away phase. After losing him I realized I didn't remember what divided us all I know is I will never forgive myself for being that stubborn. You never know, all you should ever know is that it is not worth it to let go if it is worth it to hold on. Only you know...balls in your court

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Lack of respect. A loss of appreciation for what it means to have someone truly love you. Usually the number one reason we drift is because we change and we are afraid the people we love today and that love us may not accept who we might become tomorrow. No one effects our self esteem more then our loved ones. The fear of letting them down is worth letting the relationship go. Sometimes it is better not to know what they think then to give them their due. The saddest part is they really love you and only want the best for you even when you don't. Anyone who doesn't; doesn't really love you.
Moving on is easy and it gets easier with practice, just like anything. The less you drift the harder it is when you try to. That is where the lack of discipline comes in. The patience to work through the hard times to salvage the relationships you work so hard to establish in the first place.
It is time we stop treating friends and family like disposable contacts, the minute they begin to irritate us we toss them out. We all deserve better then that. It may be that you have been dumped on enough by other people that you want to beat someone new to the punch, a defense mechanism.
You shouldn't hold on to everyone, as life moves fast maybe they move away, maybe you do. You should however hold on to the people you know are truly golden to you. Everyone has a friend they wish they could just pick up the phone and call. Oh thats right they pissed me off that time so its up to him or her to call me first, meanwhile they are having the same conversation, but i guaranty it wouldn't matter who called who after the phone rang. Maybe a mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother. I lost my older brother last May, and at that time we were in the drifting away phase. After losing him I realized I didn't remember what divided us all I know is I will never forgive myself for being that stubborn. You never know, all you should ever know is that it is not worth it to let go if it is worth it to hold on. Only you know...balls in your court

My personal struggle with self-loathing.

good question probably because no human relationship is totally good or bad just very complex

My lack of confidence to open up to the people I love. Because I can't open up I drift away and shut myself out.

-Fear of commitment
-Trust issues
-Boredom

And my #1:

-Inability to connect with anyone, even family members.

Gotta side with Livi.
Damn good answer.

The short answer is life. Life itself throws everybody into a sea where there are currents and eddies and streams, or storms that smash us against barnacles and strands us into unknown islands far away from home.

If you are lucky enough to be able to come home for a visit, that is well and good.

my desensitization due to all the horrible things that are happening with our country, and the rest of the world. With this i suppose i fail to see the good in the world, or remember what real love feels like for another person. (I'm talking about relationships, not family)

Having an opinion about them...for instance about how they feel about you. Eg my mother doesn't like me / approve of what I do / accomplish. Walking around with an assumption like this (it is an assumption unless she has actually confirmed it), is likely to distance you from her. Can become a spiral, as she will sense your withdrawal and may even think you don't like her.

I believe in the old adage that people are only in your life for a season. Sometimes the ones we love are the ones that we lose the quickest.
Another thing is to remember our lives are paths and paths only cross never become one. They only run parallel some times.

Relationships are hard work - and by not putting the hard work in (which is necessary to understand other people in order to live side by side) people can drift apart. Also, stubborness keeps people apart. My dad left for fifteen years, and I gave up on contacting him, as I thought he should contact me. However two years ago I decided to contact him again - and now we meet up every month. It's not easy - I have to try to understand him, never miss a catch up, remember everything that is important to him, be willing to forgive him, and do everything I can to move our relationship forward. But we're getting there.

Taking them for granted.

Temptation and insecurity.

Its a mutual drifting.

Times change. People change.

if they are not judging me right

May be that the love is not love as it needs to be. That it is misplaced, that what you find in a person is not what you have an ideal capacity for within the inner recesses of your heart and mind. Then may be your ideals are far too high, pure and immaculate in the sense of human needs through love. May be a love in fact is the love of a soul yearning for its truth in purity, light and elevation, and not that of a heart longing for its truth in human kindness, affiliation and beauty. If you then drift away from the people you love, your love for them might be too weak for the many reasons. But if you love someone truly and fully and still drift away then may be the love between you is not fully realised and it has take it own course, and in fact it has become too much for any people to handle.

People often stay from the situations of deep and touching emotional encounters just in order to save their heart from breaking, for pain and hurt that can caused when ideals come crashing down – love is not about ideals, love is about people, it is about human heart just the way prayer is for human soul.

PS. Love like sunshine and rain belongs to no one. We have to transform love into memorable acts of love, of kindness, sacrifice, commitment, and devotion. That way, I believe, love goes nowhere; it stays in the heat among people who have love for each other.

Great Question!!!!
And the only answer to me is fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of being vulnerable and week and exposed. Fear can make me to drift away from the people I love, but I can never drift away from Love itself though. With time I realised that it is much easier sometimes to be in love on a distance however strange it may sound. Love is what keeps me alive, and makes my life worth living, but I know how loving heart can be an open wound, when a single word thrown into it can poison my whole self, and it feels like I simply won't survive another "strike". That when I drift away. Still loving though... but never to be back...

I know how I have let them down. I know im not ever going to be of any real use to them. Hate for myself. I feeel like my presence with them is burdensome. That is a delicious question.

I start seeing the bad, the darkness in them....I start to suffocate around them because of their ideologies.

I look for a link & I can't find it.