Is it ethical to want a significant other if you might die in a few years?

Question:I have a medical condition that causes most of the people who have it, to die by the age of 40. I'll be that in a few years.

I've never been married, never even lived with someone....

But I really would like to - If I could meet someone that I loved.

However, I'm not even sure that its ethical to even try to be in a relationship - in a way it feels selfish, wrong, unfair to the other person, etc. Even if I am up front about the matter, y'know?

I've debated the matter quite a bit with myself, I was wondering what others thought.

Thanks

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I have a medical condition that causes most of the people who have it, to die by the age of 40. I'll be that in a few years.

I've never been married, never even lived with someone....

But I really would like to - If I could meet someone that I loved.

However, I'm not even sure that its ethical to even try to be in a relationship - in a way it feels selfish, wrong, unfair to the other person, etc. Even if I am up front about the matter, y'know?

I've debated the matter quite a bit with myself, I was wondering what others thought.

Thanks

First thing: dont give up on yourself! I have a few family members that were treated with terminal cancer, and with God's gift,they are cancer free and stronger than myself. But to answer your question concerning ethics, you don't have to advertise your condition with every potential significant other. You will know when it's an appropriate time. I have loved a woman deeply, and sadly we are no longer together, but I cherish the time we had, and consider myself fortunate to have had her in my life,albeit, a short time.Keep your faith, but also have faith in yourself.Like the old cliche says"It's better to have loved and lost,than not at all". I very sorry to hear of your illness, but DO NOT GIVE UP!I'll keep you in my prayers

Why not? It could be the best few years of someone else's life.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

If I met someone that I was crazy about and knew it would only be a few years until they died, I doubt I would hesitate. Take joy while you can, and give joy where you can.

Besides, being in a happy relationship just might help your health. Spontaneous cures are known to happen, or in a few years a new treatment could be helping.

Ethical if you tell them. Thats fair. But honestly not really. You should hope for the best, but I'd say look for friendship. I'd work up alot of things. In general like I said before, if they know, they'll deal with it appropraitly in most cases, but I'd check for the person.

Yes as long as they are aware of any conditions.

It would only be unethical if you don't tell your significant other that you have this illness. Let the other person know what they're getting into.

Look, nobody has a guarantee on the length of time they are going to be around anyway. I could go for a walk and get run over by a truck! Here one day and gone the next. If you find someone you want to spend you time with.........go for it. It is not selfish. Just make sure they know up front and if it is OK with them then go for it.

Another thing, the doctors are not always right. If they are wrong, just think how much life you are missing out on by not living every day to the fullest. May you find a wonderful man to marry and be happy with! Live, laugh, and be happy! May the Lord bless you and make His face shine on you!

yeah we all want to be loved for as long as we have. if they really loved you they would want to be with you until you died. watch a walk to remember if you want something to make you cry but kinda feel better about your choice. i'm sorry you even have to make this choice. it must be hard to know when you are going to die.

You have the right to be happy and look for love. Nobody really knows how long they have to live. The world could be gone tomorrow. It's not like you're hurting anyone. Loved ones die, it's a fact of life. The time you do have together is what's important.

Maybe adopt a pet to love. Just to be on the safe side though if you adopt a pet (dog or cat) you might want to get an older animal. I think it would be good for you and they need loving homes.

Peace.

Find someone to love. Don't believe everything the doctors tell you. They don't know. They are only practicing medicine. I was supposed to have died 30 years ago. The prognosis on my congenital illness was 21 years. I'll be 51 on Friday. I was also told having a child could be fatal for both of us. My healthy son will be 24 this October.
Live your life to the fullest!

it's not selfish, wrong, unfair to the other person, if he wants that too
everyone has a right to love and be loved

first of all it's nice that you are open in knowing your condition and what lies ahead a few years from now..How old are you by the way...? You don't have to be married just to be happy . nor you don't have to lived -in with someone to be happy. someone out there is willing to share his precious moments and time with you even without all of these and If given a chance this person might even give you the strength to accept what is inevitable..it's just a matter of how this person will perceive the situation you have right now.and let the nature takes it's course. Be yourself and enjoy the remaining time you have with somebody who is very much willing to accept you and care for you..that's gonna be hard but It always works.

Well the thing about ethics is you're going to have many different opinions on the matter.
There is no one definitive answer to this question.

One side of the [well my] argument is that although the loss of you might be great - the short time you spend together might be beneficial for both you, in your final years, and him or her. The pleasure that he or she gains by having you in his or her life /may/ be greater than the pain of losing you.

However, it is likely that if the other person does fall in love with you - the pain caused by that loss will outweigh everything else. Would you be okay with that?

Obviously, there is no telling what the future holds and you cannot assume what the future holds in regards to when you die and the impact your death will have on your partner.
Do what /you/ think is right.

Then work on finding someone you love, and see from there. I think someone who truly loves you would be happy to do so.

In Your Situation, if your sincere and honest. I wouldn't be worried, about my ethical standards.

Under your circumstances, I'd be more worried about the other parties Ethical. Legal and Honourable standards.

Up to the point, where a Legally Binding ACKNOWLEDGEMENT is made by your partner, that he/she is aware of your situation and freely, and without self interest values enters into the arrangement.
A PreMarital Agreement, before witnesses e.g A Priest, Rabbi, Brother, Nun, Monk or Judge-in full court.
Your Last Will and Testament, is made and acknowledged by you, omitting any significant gratuities, to your partner.

Yes, make it well and trully known to all concerned, that when you CARK it. You Cark it, and they get nothing.

Yes, it is ethical.

And don't just focus on yourself.

It may be that that significant other needs to be with you. Even if only for a few years.

You are a really good person. To think about sacrificing a serious relationship for the benefit of an other person is an extraordinarily KIND thing to do.

Anyone would be lucky to be with a person like you, even if it is for only a few years.

Honey, quit asking........get a partner! go on.....!

Go for it, be honest. Live each day as best you can.