Stage fright and performing, help?

Question:Here's the thing. I spent 8 years in various choirs, understand music theory, and sing well. Some people say very well, but not many, BECAUSE I have horrible stage fright. (Every time I got a solo in choir I backed out because I knew I would screw it up in front of 300 people).

There is a wine bar in town that my boyfriend and I are going to visit when he turns twenty-one. I have been there and love the atmosphere and the live bands. I have watched performers there do covers, and would really like to get into it myself. A few problems:

1- How do I approach the restaurant owner about performing? I assume he would want to hear me before making a decision, but I don't have any experience with selling myself unsolicited for this purpose and I'm a bit intimidated.

2- How do I get over my stage fright enough to be able to sing the night of my bf's b-day? It's three months away, so I have time to rehearse and prepare vocally, but what about when I'm up in front of a bar full of people?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Here's the thing. I spent 8 years in various choirs, understand music theory, and sing well. Some people say very well, but not many, BECAUSE I have horrible stage fright. (Every time I got a solo in choir I backed out because I knew I would screw it up in front of 300 people).

There is a wine bar in town that my boyfriend and I are going to visit when he turns twenty-one. I have been there and love the atmosphere and the live bands. I have watched performers there do covers, and would really like to get into it myself. A few problems:

1- How do I approach the restaurant owner about performing? I assume he would want to hear me before making a decision, but I don't have any experience with selling myself unsolicited for this purpose and I'm a bit intimidated.

2- How do I get over my stage fright enough to be able to sing the night of my bf's b-day? It's three months away, so I have time to rehearse and prepare vocally, but what about when I'm up in front of a bar full of people?

Okay, stage fright is based off of a few things. First is preparedness. Learn your songs so that you can sing them while doing PHYSICS or something. Well, perhaps not physics, but you get me. Have them ingrained in your mind. Second is physical and for this i suggest meditation and exposure. Sing for everyone you can. Sing for your family, friends. Every time you do get togethers. not just casually. Make them sit down quietly and you go out of the room and come in, like a performance.

And about the owner, do you have a card? They're really easy to get. Just put your name, 'vocalist' (and any other musical skills you have) and then a contact number. You can get one from vistaprint for about 13 bucks for 500 or something or a office max/depot. Approach him in business casual attire and give him your offer. Find out what people usually are payed there and request the same amount. If not, thats a lot easier to ask for the time just to perform for your bf. You'll probably have to do a set if its at a restaurant.

Really, exposure and preparedness are the most important things. Messing up really isn't that bad. I've done it tons of times and still received really amazing applause! :) Just focus on who your doing it for and that you love to do it. To hell with the audience!

~Lisa

ok...first things first...i've been playing/performing solo jazz guitar for about 20 years now,and i STILL get nervous when i go about looking for new gigs...yes it is a nerve wracking experience everytime going into a club "cold"...what i do to get over that "fear",is to pick an afternoon when i know the venue isn't busy,and offer to play a freebie set for 20 minutes or so...when you audition out of the blue like that ,the potential employer is usually pleasantly surprised if you do a good job of it,and patrons too...as for stage fright...i still get that too.You can drive yourself batty wondering if what your doing is what people are gonna like,so that leaves ya with 2 options:either always concentrate on what yoiu think ppl will like,or what you will like...sometimes its the same thing,sometimes not....most ppl just like singers in general so dont worry about it too much...just do your thing,and if they dont like it ...so what...it aint gonna make the sky fall

I have performed and taught music for over 30 years. You will always experience nervousness when performing, but there's a difference between nerves and fear, & what you describe is fear. A nervous person thinks, "Gee, I hope I don't mess up", while a frightened person thinks, "I can't do this; I'm not capable". The secret to doing away with fear is in being 110% prepared. You have to practice A LOT until it seems like old hat to sing that song. When practicing, try to simulate the stress & self-consciousness you feel when you're in front of an audience. For ex., have a friend or family member sit & watch, or even just turn on a tape recorder to make you self-conscious. When you know that you are truly prepared, your fear should fade considerably.

the more you think about it, the more nervous you will be
Just do it