Would love some monologue suggestions for AMDA audition!!!!?

Question:need monologue audition recommendations! They need be no more than 3 minutes. I need 2 monologues of differet types. i.e.-classical, contemporary; comedic, dramatic.
also any general recommendations of how to succeed and/or not make an *** of myself would be also greatly appreciated!
Thanks!!!!!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: need monologue audition recommendations! They need be no more than 3 minutes. I need 2 monologues of differet types. i.e.-classical, contemporary; comedic, dramatic.
also any general recommendations of how to succeed and/or not make an *** of myself would be also greatly appreciated!
Thanks!!!!!

For the comedy, I like Terry-Thomas' "Bosoms" short monologue from the movie, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." It must be watched to get the inflections.

(Terry-Thomas): I must say that if I had the grievous misfortune to be a citizen of this benighted country, I should be the most hesitant of offering any criticism whatever of any other.
(Milton Berle): Wait a minute, are you knocking this country? Are you saying something against America?
(Terry-Thomas): Against it? I should be positively astounded to hear anything that could be said FOR it. Why the whole bloody place is the most unspeakable matriarchy in the whole history of civilization! Look at yourself! The way your wife and her strumpet of a mother push you through the hoop! As far as I can see, American men have been totally emasculated- they’re like slaves! They die like flies from coronary thrombosis while their women sit under hairdryers eating chocolates & arranging for every 2nd Tuesday to be some sort of Mother’s Day! And this infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all time in this Godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all this this preposterous preoccupation with bosoms. Don’t you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I’ll wager you anything you like that if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.

Go to a bookshop like Waterstones or library.. there are books with monologues in for auditions.