How to help my friend solve major problems with Orchestra?

Question:Well, so I have this friend. I love her, but she is a REALLY slow learner and just generally not very bright (in a clique of advanced classes-taking overachievers). She has never really done well in orchestra, or any class, and now is extremely behind, not knowing the difference between an eighth note and a quarter note, or what they really even are for that matter.

We are now at the HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL and she still doesn't even know to tune her own violin. My teacher has put me as a stand partner with her so I can help her, which I really do want to, but she is soooooooo incredibly behind. I play fairly well, (just a little bit above average) but it is really hard for me to try to teach her something like how to position her fingers to play b flat or repeatedly explain how the bow is moved in a slur, when we are supposed to be able to play in three flats, in third position, at an allegro tempo! I really do want to help her, but how? It's beginning to seem quite hopeless! Help!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Well, so I have this friend. I love her, but she is a REALLY slow learner and just generally not very bright (in a clique of advanced classes-taking overachievers). She has never really done well in orchestra, or any class, and now is extremely behind, not knowing the difference between an eighth note and a quarter note, or what they really even are for that matter.

We are now at the HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL and she still doesn't even know to tune her own violin. My teacher has put me as a stand partner with her so I can help her, which I really do want to, but she is soooooooo incredibly behind. I play fairly well, (just a little bit above average) but it is really hard for me to try to teach her something like how to position her fingers to play b flat or repeatedly explain how the bow is moved in a slur, when we are supposed to be able to play in three flats, in third position, at an allegro tempo! I really do want to help her, but how? It's beginning to seem quite hopeless! Help!

That is a big job for you. Your orchestra director possibly doesn't understand how far behind she is...? That's too much for you to help her with. I suggest you talk to your director about this and suggest that your friend take private lessons on her own time to help her.

Wow that is a big job! Maybe you should suggest making her take private lessons or something. Or you should write down little notes in her music to help her remember to play b flats. and you probably should tell her to practice cuz from what you said it sounds like she hasn't touched the violin outside class.

You cannot make the world perfect for everybody in every situation.

Some people just don't have talent for certain things, and in the case of young people, there could be someone pushing her, or she might be trying to survive as a violinist to please someone such as a parent, family member or a friend.

Since you know her, maybe you know of stuff that she IS good at, or MIGHT be good at, and maybe with some digging you could help her to figure it out and redirect her.

One place to start might be to get her to take a career test (might be some online ones) so she can begin to refine her focus on something that she both enjoys and would be good at. For example, she might suck at music, but be extraordinarily good at art. A career test would show that.

Try to help your friend as best as you can. Work with them during a free period or after school. Have your friend start working with the essential elements book to secure her notes. Start from the very first one so you can improve her basics, no matter how easy it is. Have the person play to the metronome at different tempos to practice. If the person does not practice there will be no way for them to keep up. If also helps if the person counts out loud when they play so they can stay with the group.