I need a 1-2 minute, female, comedic monologue?

Question:I'm auditioning for Poppy or Dolly from Noises Off at school, and I find myself absolutely stumped.
Anyone have any good monologue sites or tips?
It shouldn't be over 2 minutes (but I can always edit, so that's no big deal.)
But it must be female and very, very funny.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I'm auditioning for Poppy or Dolly from Noises Off at school, and I find myself absolutely stumped.
Anyone have any good monologue sites or tips?
It shouldn't be over 2 minutes (but I can always edit, so that's no big deal.)
But it must be female and very, very funny.

idk if itll work but if u want something funny what about a monologue from whoopi goldberg or kathy griffin? if not try something fromt monster-in-law.