Question:
Poem advice!?
PLEASE DON'T STEAL IT!!!!!! IT'S MINE! some advice would be appreciated!
The Front Door
What if we all had magic inside.
Making the world bend to our pride?
What if we all could touch the moon,
Never having to stay in our own cocoon?
Could it really happen?
Is it really real?
Something that's supposed to be forbidden,
but you can't help wanting to feel.
This question makes all minds go crazy,
something that still makes me hazy.
What if? Just these simple words.
It seems as if we are all cowards.
The fear of what these words mean,
it's not real, and it??s reality.
We see only what is meant to be seen,
but it leaves us with a sad finality.
I still can't help but wonder why?
Why can't life just be? Why do we have to die?
That's when What if? Comes into play.
Giving us hope - giving us something to say.
Life has to be based on something more,
what if is just the little back door.
It's time to face what lies ahead.
Walking through the front door is my choice instead.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You are a very very very VERY talented writer, anyone can see that! if you aren't like studying this as like a college major or whatever they call it, this is very refined for not-a-professional.
you do switch the poetic technique sometimes, from rhyming ABAB, to AABB, to maybe what they call syllable or beat rythym i'm not positive, and some people may not like that but i personally dislike poems that are like
...cat...hat...fish...wish...m...
listen to other peoples opinions too. the audience is who you want to reach. it think this is a very thought filled poem.
KUDOS!