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Question: Help!?!? is this a good holocaust essay conclusion!?
Holocaust
The Jews were persecuted by Germany led by the Nazis and Adolf Hitler!. When they invaded Poland World War Two began!. The Warsaw Ghetto was a major ghetto in Poland!. Ghettos and concentration camps lacked food, space and sanitary houses!. Lots of Jews died at ghettos and camps!. All the Jews resisted by either fighting the Germans, keeping traditions alive and running away!. Displaced persons camps helped survivors at the end of the war!. Nazis war criminals had prison years to serve!. Over six million Jews died in the Holocaust!. Most survivors emigrated to Israel or the US!. The Holocaust was an annihilation of the Jewish population by Nazis and Hitler!. The Germans thought they were inferior and wanted to kill all of them !.The Holocaust will go down as one of the most brutal genocides ever!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The Holocaust was the annihilation of the Jewish population by Nazis and hitler!. The jews were persecuted by Hitler and the Nazis before world war two!. The Nazis believed that the jews were an inferior race and did not want them "contaminating Aryan blood"!. When Germany invaded Poland, World War two began!. During the war the Germans created the Warsaw ghetto!. Jews were crammed into this and other ghettos!. In ghettos there were too many people, and not enough food, space, or sanitation!. The Germans also built concentration camps!. In these camps people were worked to death or just gassed and killed!. Many jews resisted the Nazis!. Some fought the Nazis, others refused to go to camps and ran away!. Some jews worked to preserve their traditions alive!. Over 6 million jews died in the Holocost!.
After the war survivors were put in Displaced Person camps!. Here they were helped until they could find or be sent somewhere as a new home!. Many jewish survivors emigrated to Israel or the US!. Nazi war criminals were tried!. Some were executed, and many served prison terms!.
The Holocaust will go down as one of the most brutal genocides ever!.
I added a few things, but tried to keep most of your own words!. Mostly I think rearranging it helped it out though!. Not bad!.
Just a note!. I agree the above is choppy!. I was attempting to match the original author's style of writing, and where possible keep the original words!. I offer it as a template, and would suggest that the ideas from the other posters be incorporated!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It goes a little out of order!. I would rearrange it!. For example!.: !. "The Germans thought they were inferior and wanted to kill all of them!." should be near the begging not the end!. Try to tell it like linear story!. This sentence is kind off redundant place it at the begging , reword it or don't use it!.!.!.The Holocaust was an annihilation of the Jewish population by Nazis and Hitler!." Needs more work, but if it's high school it's almost good enough!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's to jumbled!. Make is flow more, and organize it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not really, you need to be more specific!. And some of the broad statements you made are not true!. Not all Jews fought back, some complied, some were murdered for their compliance, others got away because of it!. don't say "lots" give an estimated number from a reliable source!. "Nazis war criminals had prison years to serve" should be changed to something like "many (a number would be better here) Nazis were convicted of war crimes, (number) hung for their participation in the holocaust while (number) served out prison sentences as punishment!.
I would also refrian from "Germans" thought they were inferior and change that to "Nazi Ideology deemed that jews were inferior!. I would also change the last line to "The holocaust will remain one of the most haneious genocides of all time!."
hope some of that helps!.
EDIT: I don't agree with the first posters rephrasing, it still seems choppy!. Plus it is always better to put it in your own words, for the fact that you will learn more by rewriting it yourself!. I do think the first poster's sequence is generally on, but the paragraph seems to take up too many points, even for a summary!.Www@QuestionHome@Com