Question Home

Position:Home>History> DO you think this is a good intro?


Question: DO you think this is a good intro!?
In 1842 China was defeated by Britain in the Opium War’s, marking the end of their dominance as the world’s ‘‘dominant culture’’!. For centuries China had provided the rest of the world with the most luxurious goods available, such as porcelain and silk!. However, China had ignored industrialization and chose to isolated themselves from it during the 17th century!. During this time Europe became industrialized causing Europe to surpass China technologically, something that had never happened before!. China no longer control the ‘barbarians’ what to-do because of their great technological disadvantage!. This technological disadvantage ultimately led to the downfall of Confucian thought and the deterioration of China’s classical past that they had relied on since the very start of their civilization!. China had never faced anything that has threatened them so directly!. In the past they have had declines within a dynasty or an invasion from outside nomads, but these occurrences never hindered them from relying on their ancient beliefs!. Industrialization posed a threat not to the power of the dynasty or ruler but to the power of China’s beliefs!. In 1935 Japan invaded China!. Japan was a fully industrialized nation that was easily able to dominant much of China’s East coast!. This resulted in the upbringings on Mao Tse-Tung and Communism in China!. Holding firm to ancient beliefs, China's refusal to industrialize positioned the country for defeat and the introduction of communism with the diminishing of Confucianism!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes it is very good, anmd it has a good thesis!.

BUT carfull of the grammer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That's a really good overview of what happened!. Nice job!.

Get rid of the apostrophe in the first paragraph, and change their to its!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yeah!. it gives just the right about of info for an introWww@QuestionHome@Com

You need to check some factoids:
-"World's dominate culture!." China was never a dominate culture beyond its own (sizable) borders!. (If it was, by 1842 the world's dominate religion would have been Confucian instead of Christianity!.)
-China may have provided "luxurious goods" but that was tiny in comparison to economic impact of raw goods supplied elsewhere (Caribbean, North
American, South American, IAfrica, SE Asia, India, Egypt, etc!.)
-"!.!.no longer control(ED) the barbarians what-to-do!." This does not make sense!. What is what-to-do!? China never had any economic, political or social control over Europe!.
-"!.!.!.Upbringings of Mao!.!.!." Upbringings -- what does that mean!? (Wrong word/phrase)!. You missed the whole Chiang Kai-shek thing and jumped right to Mao!.
--Structure is too dense!. Separate your sentences into paragraphs!. Too many packed bwords hurt the eyes!.

A teacher once told me "Constructive criticism is more valuable than undeserved praise!." Please take these comments in that context!.Www@QuestionHome@Com