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Question: Family genealogy -- How close can you be related and it not be weird to get married or w/e!?
This has been bugging me since I read this book ages ago where two people who ended up together in the end were related so many generations back!. What degree of separation is okay and not at all creepy!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I have a web page that shows the difference between a first cousin once removed and a second cousin, with a four-color chart!. So many people who saw it wrote to ask about cousins marrying that I spent s pleasant afternoon researching the subject, and wrote:
http://www!.tedpack!.org/cuzdate!.html

It in turn directs people to a very comprehensive web site,
http://cousincouples!.com/
which defends the rights of cousins to marry!.

Excerpts from my page:

Can Cousins Date, Marry or Have Children!?

Short answer: sure, unless your family has a history of genetic problems!.

Long answer:

In 26 out of 50 states in the United States, and most other countries, first cousins can marry!. Second cousins, third cousins, first cousins once removed, and any other cousins except first cousins can marry in all 50 states and every country in the world!. The Roman Catholic Church, which has had much more experience with people than the Unites States (It has more people and has been around longer) lets first cousins marry!. So, most of the world has no objections!.

It used to be common!. Where my ancestors came from, Monroe County Virginia (now West Virginia), before 1850 if people wanted to marry someone who wasn't an Indian, they had a choice of a cousin or nothing; it was sparsely populated!. A lot of my Monroe County relatives married first cousins!. Even more married a bit further "out" - second, first once removed, third, etc!.

If you do genealogy, and your ancestors were in the USA west of the Atlantic seaboard before the Civil War, odds are you'll find at least one set of first cousins marrying in your tree!. It is easy to see why if you do a little math!.

There was a brief span of time in the US (1870 - 1930 or so), after doctors started washing their hands and before birth control was popular, when women routinely had 8 - 12 children, most of whom lived to adulthood!. If that happened two generations in a row, one couple could have 8 - 12 children who married and produced 8 - 12 children in turn, giving the original couple 64 - 144 grandchildren!. Just to make my example easy, say the couple had 10 children who had 10 children each, for 100 grandchildren!. That means each grandchild would have 9 siblings, 90 first cousins on their father's side and 90 first cousins on their mother's side!.

If you take it up a notch, to three generations, each great- grandchild could have 900 second cousins on each side of their family!. Second cousins share great-grandparents, not grandparents, and you have four pair of them!. 4 x 900 makes 3,600 second cousins in addition to the 180 first cousins!. In a sparsely populated county you'd have to look a long ways to marry someone who wasn't related to you!.

[end of excerpt]

A lot of the laws against cousins marrying came about because of the "Eugenics" movement in the USA in the 1920's!. They were also inspired anti-immigrant feelings!. At the time we had a the flood of non-English immigrants, who spoke strange languages, used garlic, smoked, gambled, danced and - married their cousins!. They sound like a fun bunch to me, but the middle-class whites whose ancestors kept slaves and stole land from the Indians didn't like them!.

"Creepy" is in the eye of the beholder!. Most people in the US would say second or third cousin!. The Amish and other small denominations who like their kids to marry within their faith marry first cousins all the time!. They are living in the past in more ways than one!.

I do not know what "w/e" means!.

If hemophilia, Huntington's Chorea or any other genetic problems run in your family, you'd be foolish to marry a cousin!. It would be like playing Russian Roulette with bullets in five of the six chambers!. Otherwise, assuming you live in one of the 26 states where it is legal, first cousins marrying is fine!.

I always tell someone who wants to date a cousin to be on his best behavior!. For example if a young man takes his cousin to the movies and tries to set the county speed record for getting a bra off on the ride home, there will be some distinct silences the next time Uncle Bob and Aunt Barbara come over for Thanksgiving!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A lot of people find out for the first time that they are married to a distant cousin when doing their family history!.

I feel first cousins are too close!. The risk can be is that maybe their grandchildren who are first cousins to each other marry and produce children!. I know of a situation where double second cousins married!. The first 2 children were brain damages!. That was before they knew about the PKU test!.

Actually, if people could put feelings aside they should be careful about marrying anyone that has the same medical or mental problems in their family as they do in theirs!. However, it is hard to put the "heart" aside!.

I know, I personally don't know all my second cousins!. I now know names and vital info on them since I do genealogy but that is all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

In North America, first cousins getting together is thought of as creepy partly because it's illegal in many states, which in itself creates a taboo!. It's not illegal here in the UK, and though I would find it hard to imagine for myself, it would be generally viewed as simply unusual!.

There is low risk of cousins having children with genetic abnormalities unless they are the next in a long line of children of cousins!. Any family trait from a shared line will have twice the chance of being passed on!.!.!. this still poses a low risk unless there has been a lot of intermarriage in the family's past!.!.!. thus condensing those traits!.

In many small communities, intermarriage between distant relatives was normal (even unavoidable in some isolated communities), providing the relationship wasn't too close, it didn't pose any problems!.

The only obvious example of what happens when a family continually intermarry is with the European royal families, who strove to repeatedly find royal spouses for their children!. It was a very small gene pool, and numerous genetic conditions exist within the British royals and their cousins as a result, such as porphyria & haemophiliaWww@QuestionHome@Com

Well first of all, WHO determines what is weird and creepy!?

We have been fed a lie that if one marries their distant cousin (generations back) then that's wrong!. Where did this "ruling" come from!?

While it is true that marriages within close relatives causes a lot of health issues, you can't be paranoid because some "novel" made it "creepy"!.

Do your own research on "inter family marriages", you may figure out the answer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Between 1550 to 1917, the Roman Catholic Church forbid marriage within the fourth degree of relationship (that's between first cousins) !. Before that, the Catholic Church forbid marriage within seven degrees, which (without dispensation) would prohibit marriages between 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins!.

The Eastern Orthodox Church still forbids marriages within seventh degrees of relationship!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Physical attraction among first and 2nd cousins in common, yet creepy - which is why most states prevent at least 2nd cousins from marriage - occurring!.

Since I have contact with cousins 6 and 7 generations apart, the whole thought of a 2nd cousin union freaks me out!. It happened in the Colonies prior to the "United States" occurring!.

I have documented at least two different surnames than became extinct in the Massachusetts Bay Colony - because of it!.
Hope this helps Www@QuestionHome@Com

In the United States, 26 states allow marriage between first cousins!. (The prohibition against first cousin marriages in the US predates modern genetics!.) No European country prohibits first cousin marriages!. Nor do Canada, Mexico, or Japan!. For first cousins to marry in the Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and some other churches, a dispensation must first be obtained!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I believe each State in the Union determines the legality of that issue!. Some States I believe second cousins can wed - but my guess the trend would be toward third cousins!.

Don't take my word for it - do the research!. I might be completely wrong on the degrees of separation!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is not acceptable for firsts cousins to marry in Most states!. Naturally siblings or parent/child marriages are also not acceptable!.

While doing research a while back I learned that at one time I had dated and almost married a 5th cousin - we didn't know we were related at all!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

No closer than 2nd cousins!.

President Franklin Roosevelt and his wife were related!. Her maiden name was Roosevelt!. They were both related to Teddy Roosevelt - Eleanor was his niece and Franklin was his cousin!. I always thought that was creepy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You wouldn't want to come any closer than 3rd cousins to prevent inbreeding!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think pretty much anywhere its legal to marry your 2nd cousin!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

very creepy!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

5 cousin Www@QuestionHome@Com

That would be creepy!.!. but sometimes you never know, who you are related to!.!.I think if possible try avoid any cousins!.!. come on they are your cousins!.!.!.what next siblings!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

welll!.!.!.!. religion could alllow it and who really cares it your choice who you get married to right!Www@QuestionHome@Com