Where do we start with missing grandparents?

Question:My husband's family is a mystery. We are trying to start his family tree, but not sure how to begin. Here's the problem. His dad lies. Lies about everything. We found out that he couldn't even get the spelling correct of one of his grandparents. So...that resource is not a reliable one.

His biological mother lives in O.K. we live in IA. Her birth parents gave her to a couple before she was one or two. She does not even consider her these her parents. Which makes it difficult talking to her about all of this. It gets confusing. Her biological mother has disowned the family. She's suppose to be living somewhere in CA. Not sure of the area.

We have started by asking his mom for a copy of her birth certificate. Not a good thing. We sent her all the paperwork to fill out and then to send it back to us and we would take care of everything. But her live in boyfriend threw it away. (it's not a good situation)... SO... back to square one.
Where do we go from here?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: My husband's family is a mystery. We are trying to start his family tree, but not sure how to begin. Here's the problem. His dad lies. Lies about everything. We found out that he couldn't even get the spelling correct of one of his grandparents. So...that resource is not a reliable one.

His biological mother lives in O.K. we live in IA. Her birth parents gave her to a couple before she was one or two. She does not even consider her these her parents. Which makes it difficult talking to her about all of this. It gets confusing. Her biological mother has disowned the family. She's suppose to be living somewhere in CA. Not sure of the area.

We have started by asking his mom for a copy of her birth certificate. Not a good thing. We sent her all the paperwork to fill out and then to send it back to us and we would take care of everything. But her live in boyfriend threw it away. (it's not a good situation)... SO... back to square one.
Where do we go from here?

Your husband can legally request a copy of a birth certificate on each of his parents, and a copy of their marriage license, without them signing anything. The law does not make you prove they are dead, it only makes your husband prove he is their child. You can find the parents from either the birth certificate or the marriage license.

One other thing, when you request the marriage license, also ask for a copy of the marriage license APPLICATION. That gives even more information than does the license itself. And in most states, that information is copied from the birth certificate. It makes for a very good second check.

Bypass the unhealthy situations and just follow the paper trail wherever it takes you. Approach it like someone who was orphaned and only knows their own parents' names and nothing else. It's not as hard as it seems. Once you get the first document, everything else will fall into place.

The U.S. Census is a great resource, alls it takes is finding one name and it leads to others.

Get a copy of your husbands birth certificate. Her name date of birth and state she was born in should be listed. Same with the father. If they lied about anything it may be hard to use but is a start. You can send for their birth certificates and list the use as genealogy (which is what you want). I got a copy of my mothers birth certificate that way. Was the father in the service? Federal records might be available for that. A good place to start is a local LDS church. They all have a genealogy section and someone to help you search. It is a free service. It is so much fun and time consuming but wait til you find something you didn't know. You are ecstatic. Good Luck.