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Question:When a woman expresses her feelings freely and is not afraid to hold in her opinions,do men feel threatened? Why do some men avoid these women as if they had a disease?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: When a woman expresses her feelings freely and is not afraid to hold in her opinions,do men feel threatened? Why do some men avoid these women as if they had a disease?

Having an experimental psychologist rather close to me (aka, my wife of 27 years) who has background in this specific area, I feel I can give non-personal feedback.

Also note that what I write is about norms, not absolutes. So I can guarantee that whoever is reading this can definitely say - but I know someone who is not like that. Of course you can. If say a study showed that 75% of people feel a certain way, then if you knew 100 people, 25 of them WOULDN'T feel that way. So yes, you do know someone... But not as a norm.

There are two different environments involved here. First is the workplace and non-relational social environment. These environments are founded in cultural norms. And these norms are quickly changing. 40 years ago, a strong minded woman in these environments would not have fit the cultural norms and thus been perceived negatively by the majority of others (NOT ALL, a majority). But cultural norms are changing quickly. Today in the workforce, a strong minded woman is much more accepted and often very succesful. Because the powers that be are often of older ages, there hasn't been a full shift to acceptance. But as the older powers leave and younger people take their place, the "gender role" differences are becoming less of an issue.

HOWEVER, there is the relationship side of things as well - and these aren't really changing. It really has to do with the dominant/submissive personalities and how they impact relationships. And it really doesn't matter who is what: male (dominant or submissive) or female (dominant or submissive).

Again, by very strong norms, the most successful relationships (those that last a long time) are almost exclusively dominant-submissive relationships. [I'm one of those, my wife has a dominant personality and I have a submissive personality.]

A dominant-dominant personality can be quite intense, satisfying --- for a time. But by it's nature, it will over time require one person to really go against their own personality. A continuum of compromise if you will. And that takes it toll. Dominant-dominant relationships have the highest divorce rate of any.

Submissive-submissive don't usually have much problems because rarely do they ever pair up. Nobody is comfortable making the decisions. Nobody "takes charge". And a good thing. If the did get together, they would still be trying to decide what to have for dinner LAST THURSDAY. Again, when they happen, they don't usually last.

It is the dominant-submissive (and neither is bad, dominant doesn't mean overbearing, super controlling - just means really the one in charge. Submissive doesn't mean a wimp, someone who never stands of for themselves. Just someone who is more comfortable in a supporting, following role. Neither is bad. And usually, neither is extreme).

But "strong minded" is associated with dominant personalities. So such a person (man or woman) in relational situations, might find someone turned off, or unintersted. Likely another dominant person, who by their nature, is more comfortable with a submissive person. So in your example, some men (dominant) very well could avoid these women as if they had a disease because this is not a person they can see themselves being comfortable in a long term relationship with. But it ain't one way either. A dominant woman would likely avoid a strong minded man for the same reason.

And as study after study after study has shown, this isn't necessarly a bad thing. Because dominant-dominant (or submissive-submissive) relationships well honestly, have the highest failure rate of all relationships. NOT ALL, yes I realize you probably know someone or someones that go against this norm, but it is the norm.

Some of us mere men are indeed threatened by strong minded women - some guys who aren't so confident about themselves feel like they're less of a man if they're not in control of the 'little lady' in their life...

But some love it - but only if you tell them that they're allowed to!

;o)

No, I don't think we feel threatened, but at the same time I don't think we find it attractive either...

Sure, some men do. SOme men do not. Just like some women are strong minded and some are not. I think that men who want to be controlling and are demanding do not like women who speak their mind and are independant. I prefer one who does and can interact. My wife is like that. Sometimes we agree to disagree.

not threatened by it, but it can get annoying if they are dead set in their beliefs and won't consider other peoples

I believe that some men are threatened by strong minded women.Often men are unsure of who they are so they are afraid to be challenged by an women.Of -course their is a difference between being strong and being aggressive.And their are men who are happy to see that kind of strength in a women,they feel more respect to someone who knows how to express their minds than someone who is too timid to be herself.

not threatened, more like disliking such behaviour.

men by nature are conquerors, we like to be the ones that go after a woman, not viceversa. when such a woman comes onto us we feel like we are pushed to do something we would've done anyway, but it just lost it's magic bacause we're not the initiators anymore.

Often annoyed, occasionally offended, but I can not recall feeling threatened. I think the reaction is uniform between genders in this regard.

Yes

some men are....not all men. i love strong, confident women because they usually have their heads screwed on and know what they want. i think, alot of guys prefer a women they can control......its an ego thing. plus, alot of women (from what i see), are like lost puppies......they feel like they need to do and agree with whatever their bf does or says to get their approval or in fear their bf might leave them.

personally, i value intellegence and personality. don't get me wrong, i have to be physically attracted to a women, but if i can't hold a decent conversation with her then no matter how good she looks, its not gonna happen.

i think what the problem is sometimes....its the way women like yourselfs appear to be. some strong, smart women can at times come across as being quite rude. of course, who wants to talk to someone if they come across as rude or stuck-up.

I am pretty sure that this question does not belong in genealogy, but as far as strongminded women go I would much prefer a strongminded one to a febbleminded one.