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Question:When I first started dating my ex, I asked him if he had any kids. He paused, and mumbled something about the timing being wrong and her sleeping around and the subject was dropped. I later got pregnant, and found out after that that he was saying the same things about me, so I suspect that there are other mini-hims out there.
Things didn't end well with him or his family, and I haven't spoken to them in over 9 years, and I know very little about the other mom (her name is Angela and likely moved to Winnipeg after their relationship fell apart). I would like my son to know other siblings, since he isn't going to get any from me.
Any ideas?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: When I first started dating my ex, I asked him if he had any kids. He paused, and mumbled something about the timing being wrong and her sleeping around and the subject was dropped. I later got pregnant, and found out after that that he was saying the same things about me, so I suspect that there are other mini-hims out there.
Things didn't end well with him or his family, and I haven't spoken to them in over 9 years, and I know very little about the other mom (her name is Angela and likely moved to Winnipeg after their relationship fell apart). I would like my son to know other siblings, since he isn't going to get any from me.
Any ideas?

What you are looking for, is a living person, and I assume that the kids are minors. That is the 'stopper' , right there.. not whether your son should/ should not know who his siblings are.
There are many sites that have directories (phone listings, so forth) online, and those are legitimate. On the other hand, persons in genealogy will NOT normally give out what is considered private information (and it is against yahoo rules, as well). The idea is this.. I have the right to tell anyone what I choose, but others make the choice of what they want online.
It sounds as if the ex is not wanting to accept the other children as his. This could be him being a jerk, or it might be truth. Either way, it is not possible to know what she thinks, or what she has chosen to tell her children. It is a matter of respect for her choices as a parent, that you would have to contact her (not looking for the kids directly). In other words, you can't even assume that those children ARE siblings to your son, without verifying first.
The entire subject depends on open communication with someone, in order to locate them. VERY sticky, all the way around, and something that genealogists are not likely to interfere with. I do wish you luck! and understand what you hope to do.

leave it be... there might not even be any. so why put the kid through this..

let it go, you married a irresponsible **** of a man,

while it might help with health problems, it sure isnt worth all the problems you will bring up finding that woman,

As the others have, I recommend not kicking over this can of worms at this time, write down all you know now and save it until your son is an adult and can chose whether or not to pursue this. (Frankly, if the other kids have the ex's name definately not a sure thing in this situation, it would be easier to find them as adults.)

If you feel a need at this holiday time to make a connection for your son, I would perhaps check discretely to see if the grandparents are still alive, and send them a Christmas Card, with a picture of your son.