Headstone mistake--now what do I do?

Question:

Headstone mistake--now what do I do?

My 2nd great grandfather was a Confederate veteran. He died about 1911 and a headstone was placed at that time, but it weathered. My great-uncle harassed the Sons of the Confederacy until they put up a new, military-style headstone. Unfortunately, while his dates and name are correct, his military record information is not; my uncle had the wrong person by that name.

What can I do now? Is there some way to fix the problem without embarrassing anyone? My uncle has since passed away.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Since the uncle who made the mistake is dead, you can probably fix the mistake without embrassing anyone living. Just don't tell his children your cousins "Old Uncle Abner must have been hitting the bottle pretty hard when he ordered THIS one up!"

Talk the the cemetery administrators first. They will ask you to prove who you are and what his war record was, but it sounds like you have the right documents already. They may charge for re-installing headstones, too.

Price a nice headstone at the monument company. Ask your siblings, first and second cousins if they'd contribute. (Price it and the installation fee first so they know if you need $10, $100 or $1,000 each.)

You might ask if the monument company can polish off the incorrect data and inscribe the right data. That might be possible. It might be cheaper to start afresh. Ask them; they do this for a living and they know more about it than I do.

Collect the money, get the work done, have it installed. myself?i would either have the work done out of my own pocket(which would probly be nicer )or maybe mention it to somebody in the hope that somebody cares.if not at least you are keeping up with it and it will be in the arcives of your lives.document everything old and present For the most part, I see genealogy as collecting records or documents, reaching conclusions from those records. I strongly believe that it is not our place to 'fix' what there is, but (in our own records), make note of the discrepancy.
Many persons will not agree with that. Your gr uncle felt the need to mess with an original record and substitute what he thought to be 'right'. In this case, as you have found... his own substitution is what turned out to be incorrect. He tried to alter history, so to speak.
I have seen people want to go back and 'correct' things like death certificates, etc. Not a good thing to do. You yourself are seeing the consequences.
The only way to 'fix' it now, is going to be very involved. If you choose to replace it... it will involve contacting them and providing exact records. I would notify them of it.. but they obviously accepted gr uncles version. I can just see it now...10 people arguing, and shoving a tombstone back and forth. What a mess.
I've run into this myself with pushy relatives. I know of one historical marker that was placed with wrong information.
Your best option at this point is to make sure that YOUR files contain a very explicit explanation of what you conclude, and why. If there are any directly related sites (family web page, county web site) you can also request your conclusion to be posted.
Frankly... I would not go to the effort of correcting the stone itself..since that is keeping the cycle going. I wish your story could be posted in many places, where others are 'itching' to go back and 'correct' earlier mistakes. The correction itself may BE the mistake. try to contact a local funeral or headstone agency they may be able to help you in your prediciment I'm a little confused. You said the name and dates are right but military record wrong. Is that military info on the headstone or the actual documents?

Military documents will not be changed so I've been told. If its info on the headstone it can be corrected by a headstone engraver. They may be able to buff it out and correct it. You find mistakes on headstones all the time.

It shouldn't be any big deal. Call around and get prices. Don't count on relatives to help you out. If you feel that strongly about getting it fixed you may have to do it yourself. Elvis Presley's headstone misspells his middle name (Aaron instead of Aron). Seems a common problem. Go to the cemetery administration, explain the error and ask if you can quietly have the stone replaced. It'll cost.