work do you think its a lo

Question:

This is my personal statement for applying to college/work do you think its a load of rubbish or good?

ALTHOUGH I HAVENT FINISHED IT YET I WOULD LIKE OTHERS OPINIONS AND ADVICE:

Personal statement

My name is Karen Barker and I??m a year 11 student at Putteridge high school and I?? am currently studying for my GCSE??S. I ??am hoping to achieve better GCSE grades than my estimated ones. I ??am hoping to do something involving animals when I leave and go into work/college. I really enjoy caring for animals and would love to learn how to care for them properly .Although I have never done any work experience with animals I feel that I still know a lot about animals.

Character and personal qualities:

I adore animals and enjoy caring for them. I have looked after a number of animals for my friends/family and would enjoy studying all different animals.

Hobbies and interests: These are a few of my hobbies and interests:

*Caring for animals
*dancing
*singing

My aims and ambitions:

My aims and ambitions are to:

*Run a small business involving animal??s e.g. a pet shop.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I'm not sure what the standards are where you are from, but generally I was taught to spell everything out (i.e. GCSE) the first time with the initials afterwards, then you can use the initials the next time it is referred to.

Under aims and ambitions you have one item. "Aims" and "Ambitions" are plural... either add another item or just say "My Ambition".

Do they have access to your estimated GCSE? If not, I wouldn't mention that they aren't so great. Especially if you plan to retake them.

"Hobbies and interests: These are a few of my hobbies and interests" - this is redundant.

You've got a good start from what I can see.