My new epic poem starring me (Quick before Penfold drags it off screaming)?

Question:

My new epic poem starring me (Quick before Penfold drags it off screaming)?

As the dark dim clouds gather round
A call goes out over the vast minions
Of faithful fully clad in Velcro ™
The day has come

And so the four of us plus half
My stallion barking up at heavens
To what resolve will come this day
I wonder if the SmiteeOne™ smells ??bluff???

TylerDurden™ brought a lawn chair
TDEuwaite™ has pen and paper
Mike (™ in progress) seems a mute..
Tylerdurden speaks now..Let??s listen.

I??m not TOMTOM (™ pending)
And he??s not I??I??ll prove it to you.
Guards, fetch me the head of Mike(™ denied)
But bring him back A-live??*

*(abridged 1 hour 33 minutes of rant on the pros and cons in living in the industrial part of Tuscaloosa??s garment district and the surrounding points of geographic unimportance. After which the battling parties wake up with a newfound loss of interest in the battle. After exchanging a few customary parting naughty words and obligatory rude hand gestures, everyone went their own ways)

I have to go take a nap now..
My ear is smoking™.

Additional Details

2 weeks ago
Ooops.. sorry. I have no clue what happened.. I think Salty dog "forgot" to switch Y!Personalities again... What has she done now? She is such a furry jealous little b*****ch

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 2 weeks ago
Ooops.. sorry. I have no clue what happened.. I think Salty dog "forgot" to switch Y!Personalities again... What has she done now? She is such a furry jealous little b*****ch