Here is a poem. please read. and comment.?

Question:

Here is a poem. please read. and comment.?

me and "bathorysteve" worked on this together. i did the 1st 1nd and 4th stanza and he did the 3rd stanza. but we corrected each other a little so half credit goes to him.

title-sun

sunrise,sunrise don't you see?
we are no different, you and me.
you do your duty, thats just fine,
now while you do yours, i'll do mine.

sunrise, sunrise, don't you see?
you and me are no different, we are free.
you have no limits in the wide-open sky,
i wish i could be with you, spread my arms and fly.

sunrise, sunrise, dont you see?
you and I together, it was meant to be.
my eyes look into yours and what do I see?
you and I together growing old, gracefully.

sunrise, sunrise, don't you see?
years have past, i'm as old as a tree.
our love once forbidden, at their decree,
but know we're together forever, this i guarantee.

Additional Details

1 week ago
AHA! i realized my mistake. the last stanza instead od]f "sunrise, sunrise" it was supposed to be "sunset,sunset" i guess i made a mistake when i was typing it in.sorry.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1 week ago
AHA! i realized my mistake. the last stanza instead od]f "sunrise, sunrise" it was supposed to be "sunset,sunset" i guess i made a mistake when i was typing it in.sorry.