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Can you please rate my writing? I would really appreciate it. Thanks?

Please follow the link below and read the new piece I've added. Thanks so much. It's short. Please rate and comment on Yahoo Answers, thanks


http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-3tmkpeq8...


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Marc,
It was wonderful.
Apart from everyone else, I thought the adverbs and adjectives were very good; you need plenty when writing about the Renaissance era. Keep up the good work!
Might I make a couple of suggestions though: "Swiped his cheek" that's right, singular; it goes better with the time period. And "His BREATH quickened" rather than breathing quickened. Keep me posted, I want to read more from you!
-Sunshine